A Functional Collectable: Onnit Kettlebells
Weighing in at 692 lbs my heaviest collection and last obsession before finding NFTs which luckily take up much less space! The Onnit Kettelbells
Kelltebells are a great form of resistance training to maintain and build full body strength. Using kettlebells forces you to use your entire body to lift. For this reason they are great to increase core strength. With a pair or even a single kettlebell you can work every part of your body. They make it easy to transition from one movement to another which encourages functional movement patterns.
Functional movements are exercises that incorporate multiple muscle groups and take you through a full range of motion. These type of exercises are great at engaging your core and stabilizing muscles. They are movements that you do in your regular life like squatting, walking, pushing, pulling, twisting, hinging, and lunging. Kettlebells are one of the best tools to work these patterns loaded with weight. This type of training aims at preventing injury and to relieving pain by restoring proper movement in the body.
I became obsessed with these as a collectable while looking for kettlebells to work out with. I had recently lost a large mount of weight and needed to start building my body from the ground up. In addition to building core strength I choose kettlebells in an attempt to relive back pain that I have dealt with my entire life. I can gladly say that these kettlebells were motivational to me and made me want to lift. They helped me to build core strength while increasing mobility and over time decreased my back pain.
Kettlebells are originally from Russia. They were made popular in America by the great Pavel Tsatsouline in 1998. For this reason most of the Onnit kettlebells are labeled in pood which is a Russian measurement. 1 pood = 36 lbs. The YouTube video attached is the what I used to learn correct form for kettlebell movements. His dry humor is also fun. There is a part 2 that focuses on using 2 kettlebells if you want to move on to more advanced work.
https://www.strongfirst.com/about/pavel-tsatsouline/
Onnit is a company started by Joe Rogan and Aubry Marcus in 2010. The flagship product is a nootropic called Alpha Brain developed to increase cognition and learning. Joe talks about meeting Aubry then named Chris when he was approached by him to market a unique product on his podcast. The product was a male masturbation apparatus named the Fleshlight. The Joe Rogan experience had never had a sponsor before but Joe thought it was a funny product and the Podcast was experiencing large growth taking up more of his time so he decided to monetize.
How to we go from a masturbation device for men from a guy named Chris to a supplement for you real brain from a guy named Aubrey? In a word ayahuasca. Ayahuasca deserves its own blog post but for our purposes now we can just say it is a very powerful hallucinogenic prepared by shaman in the jungle.
The company became wildly successful and moved to a full supplement, clothing, and fitness equipment brand! I have never tried Alpha Brain but I have hundreds of pounds of their equipment and a few shirts and hoodies.
Now to the collection at hand. The Onnit Kettlebells are not just any kettlebells. These kettlebells look more like sculptures than pieces of workout equipment. Many people custom paint them and resell them as works of art. What is amazing is they are fully functional and heavy duty!! While looking like an art piece they art perfectly balanced so you can swing away! They are made out of a single piece of solid iron. This means the handle is part of the bell making it sturdy for life. They are then powered coated to be rust and chip resistant. There are a few different collections Primal Bells, Zombie Bells, Legend Bells, and the rarest Marvel Bells.
The Primal Bells
The Primal Bells are the flagship kettle bells and are in the shape of different primates. The bells come in 1/2 pood 18lb Howler, 1 pood 36lb Chimp, 1.5 pood 54lb Orangutan, 2 pood 72lb Gorilla, and the 2.5 pood 90lb Bigfoot. They are not always in stock but they are still available on the Onnit website. You will often see them on eBay for 2-5x retail price when they are out of stock but if you wait long enough you can put your email on a list and they contact you when they come in.
https://www.onnit.com/primal-bells/
The Zombie Bells
The Zombie Bells were limited released in 2014 in the heat of the Walking Dead zombie craze. The bells come in 1/2 pood 18lb Brain Goblin , 1 pood 36lb Staple Head, 1.5 pood 54lb Ghost Face Thrilla, 2 pood 72lb Mega Dead. Unfortunately for me I was not collecting at the time of release. I ordered these for $1200 from a guy half way across the country from me. It was supposed to be a full set 2 of each size the set came 3 pieces short and not because the guy did not send them but because Fed-Ex workers stole them. Well that’s my theory. I think the box broke open and these amazing kettlebells fell out and the workers took them home. Fed-ex blamed the packaging and claimed they were destroyed. I told them that it would be real hard to destroy such an item but I digress. I was able to find a second Brain Goblin and Ghost Face Thrilla but still need the 2nd Staple Head to feel complete.
The Legend Bells
The Legend Bells dropped in 2016 and are not traditional pood variations instead they are denominated using the metric system just to keep Americans on their toes. These are also limited edition and make appearances every once in a while for special occasions since the initial drop. Each bell is a mythical creature. There is Harpy The 12kg or 26lb, The Cyclops 20kg or 44lbs, and the Werewolf 26kg or 60lb. The Cyclops is my favorite kettlebell in the collection I have seen people custom paint this bell and it looks amazing!
https://www.onnit.com/legend-bells/
The Disney Bells
The Marvel/Disney collection is the most limited and we are not sure if we will ever see them again. All the other collections are Onnit originals where this collection is licensed from Disney and dons some of the most iconic images in the Star Wars and Marvel universe. These sold out as soon as they dropped and the secondary market remains strong. There is the 40lb Iron Man which was released as part of an Iron Man collection that included 45 bumper plates. The Star Wars collection includes Darth Vader at 70lb, Storm Trooper Helmet at 60lb, and Boba Fett at 50lb. The collection also had a yoga mat and a medicine ball fired as the Deathstar. I sadly do not have any form this collection!!
My Collection
Primal Bells
2 Howler
2 Chimp
1 Orangutan
1 Gorilla
1 Big Foot
Zombie Bells
2 Brain Goblin
1 Staple Head
2 Ghost Face Thrilla
2 Mega Dead
Legend Bells
1 Cyclops
What I am missing:
Legend
Harpy
Werwolf
Star Wars Collection
Darth Vader
Bobb Fett
Storm Trooper
Marvel collection
Iron Man
THE FULL COLLECTION
Onnit Promo Images
Besides the obviously Onnit promo images; All Words written by me not Chat GPT, All images are created by me not Midjourney, All digital assets are owned by me not right click and saved.
