There are so many differences between men and women, in case you have not noticed the glaring truth, and I find it interesting how much some people just want to argue about this. It is always so predictable how someone, especially a young person, would want to argue with someone with more experience and who has lived longer to see the world turn on its head. That is just the world we live in now I guess; everyone always has something to say especially when he or she feel they are smarter than anyone else.
I have been noticing a trend as of late though. I will not say it is thanks to social media because I am hardly ever there, but I do stumble across gossip sites (thanks to pop up ads) and they always start with the most bizarre headline. I am a human, so I look (but not click) and sure, something like a one line click-bait is enough to send me wondering.
It seems to be a trend now to move on to the next person when the one you stayed and built everything with is not working. We can no longer handle misunderstandings and arguments as civil people. Why? There are so many options. Because we have a lot to choose from, we decide to let the little things tear us down. It is bullshit. Why did the both of you get together in the first place?
I think one thing people, especially the young ones, have failed to realise is that a relationship is a form of investment. This is someone you plan to spend the rest of your life with; I think your thoughts should go beyond just attraction, which is the number one criteria for most people currently. In fact, it seems to be the only criteria.
It is much more than that. I also think that is one other glaring difference between women and men. I believe that most men are led by the physical. That is how we are wired. Visuals appeal to us and when it is a beautiful woman, best believe we are going to be interested. Women are attracted to the physical too but theirs have levels. While they may be attracted to you, they may decide that you are not the one. I feel that women look at potential when making a choice and not immediate gain. I have seen it happen and I happen to be one of those ‘happens’.
My wife picked me up when I was a broke bum and she had all the money. I was only studying but she saw a glint in my eye and now she takes care of our son and I sort out the bills. How is that for a change? Personally, I think it is important to note that if you are young, you should choose someone who is young too. Especially if you are a woman. Already made men tend not to be as mouldable and thoughtful as younger men. Think of it like this:
When a man starts out, he is like clay. Soft and putty. You can mould it into anything, but after a while, it hardens and if you try to mould it, it breaks. Life is kind of like that too, very few people retain the open mind they did when they were younger.
Photo by Josh Willink from Pexels
There is nothing wrong in choosing already made men but there is potential in moulding a man too. He then grows with you. I grew with my wife; she was more mature and probably still is. She saw potential in me, she saw a thirst for knowledge and she knew I soaked up information like a sponge but there is always the attraction. Trust me when I say that my wife would not have looked my way if I were a 5ft bald and smelly urchin. But I also know that attraction isn’t high on the list for women as it is for men but being attracted to your partner definitely helps a lot.
This all brings me back to the very beginning of this post and that is, why do people (especially young ones) think it is just okay to back off when it is not working? Why take that oath if you very well will not keep it? I do not believe in divorce. It is “till death do us part” for me. I have come across scenarios where one of the partners is left to dust after the other decides that they want to be ‘happy’.
Take the movie, The Wolf of Wall Street for example. The MC played by Leonardo De Caprio did something that is happening in reality even today. He threw away the woman that worked with him to build everything from ground up for a bimbo who could not stay when shit hit the fan. That is, unfortunately, the sad reality of some people. They get to where they want and throw the other out. It is insane!
On so many levels, it is wrong to me. I cannot even understand that level of ignorance and stupidity because that is exactly what it is. So, I say, while you build with someone, do not be blind either. Contradictory? I think not. I believe that if you genuinely love someone, you can easily tell when he or she are fooling around. You notice and like some people, you can choose to address it or be like most people and play dumb.
In conclusion, a relationship isn’t just about a man and a woman coming together to make babies. It is so much more than just appearances. You need to understand or at least get the idea of how fun and healthy a marriage could be with the right person. I do though, and I can tell you that I am enjoying every bit of it.
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Wes & Grindan