In our society today, being a man brings alot of pressure. It is somewhat agreeable that there are a lot of expectations and responsibilities that comes with being a man. Which apparently is one of the underlying dilemma that the male gender have come to live with from time immemorial. We grow, and then we are expected to be responsible; to act tough whenever we need to. As such, we have become numb to the heartwrenching pressures and labours; we therefore become labeled as 'unfit' for a society that demands more than it can give. Another issue in Nigeria (...a country in Western Africa for those who don't know), which is best reserved for another time.
It has become a norm that since you're a male you're supposed to be an armoured tank that takes everything life throws at you with a smile. One of such examples of a popular saying, "You're a Man or Man Up!" can sometimes create a false perception of a person's individuality. Even when a loved one dies and you cry, no matter how much it breaks your heart or how much you're tearing up inside, they'll say "Stop crying, you're a Man".
A friend once mentioned that, as soon he turned 16, other than feeding and educational expenses, he had to take responsibility for himself. Which, in itself,is something very commendable. However, it'll be unfair to send an indignant message to those who do not see life in the same light.
Some years ago, i was 17years old at the time, a distat relative of mine told my mum this "Stop taking care of him he is old enough, go any further and you'll spoil him. Let him face the world when he is young so he'll turn into a man of his own!".
At that time, i had little or no experience about how the life of man is. Over the years, having gone through things in life, having alot responsibilities for myself and expectations that follows it, sometimes anxieties and depression takes over. During those times, speaking out or talking to someone about it would help alot. But, because of the way society is, speaking up would either mean showing a weak mentality, or complaining and not manning up enough. Even when i opened up to my father figure, he told me to be a man and NOT act weak!.
Source
The only safe haven was my mum. She was patient enough to allow me grow at my own pace, and encouraged me to open up to her, even when i didn't want her to think her son was weak but she didn't criticize me or judge me. She listened, and told me, "I'm always here if you want to talk". It wasn't much, but talking to her saved me from anxiety and depression.
Every circumstances in life brings pressure on a man either problems in marriages, pressure of getting a job, losing a loved one in death..., and coping with financial difficulties might cause depression and anxiety which might eventually lead to suicidal thoughts.
Conclusion
Men are not indestructible. We can be vunerable. We feel pain sometimes, all we need is someone to talk to and, a shoulder to cry on. But, because of what people around us will say, men are less likely to seek help....but speaking up saves lives.
Let's all encourage men to SPEAK UP not MAN UP!
Thank you for Reading.
