Tattoo journeys ep.10. The end? I'm out of here!

in #hive-1092882 years ago

It's 5 A.M. and I am drinking my tea thinking: should I do it? Should I leave this tattoo shop?

It has been almost 5 months and I feel with each day that my soul is dying creatively. I feel a sense of calm and liberation only thinking about leaving this place. I think of my talent and the hardships I went through before all of this journey in Denmark even began. I can remember the joy of knowing I will be a tattoo apprentice and fulfill my dream to put my talent at painting to work.

Reality was different. The members in the team of the tattoo shop were bored, beaten down and fed up, trying to scrape a bit of joy from the few exciting projects which came once in a while. The fresh energy of a dreamer who wanted more disturbed their egos. I do not blame them, people are what they are and I ain't going to change them.

But sitting in an environment where you are not appreciated for your talent , where you are just there to produce money for a businessman, where you do not grow or be challenged rubs off on you.

The idea of resignation was in my mind for a while, but there was a particular event that made me say: enough is enough.

My tattoo machine is " dying" as in the motor is not running properly anymore. I can feel it by the sound, vibration and performance. Men probably can understand this better as it is not different from a bigger tool. So I was worried. I knew I needed more money and extra income to pay for better machine. I know how hard working I am, I know I am better. So I asked for a promotion, backing it up with facts. I was told no because there is a plan that is applied to everyone, regardless of talent or performance. The tone, the arrogance and the lack of respect for an employee disturbed me. Oddly enough a sense of calm hit me that night. I knew this was it.

The next morning I googled formal resignation letters and I wrote mine. I could feel a sense of joy just by doing it. I texted the employer a formal message and handed the letter to the manager. In a couple of minutes I received a call from the boss. Trying to lure me in with some extra money, less than I required. These are the modern shackles of the soul : sweet promises of nothing wrapped in some papers. The kind of breadcrumbs people fall for when they are desperate or do not know their worth. I said no. Damn it felt good. A surge of anger, disrespect and bad words were at the end of the line. I stood in awe listening as it did not get to me. I said to myself: girl, this is the ultimate proof you are making the right decision. So the 10th of april will be my last working day in this quite creatively depressing place. I am deeply grateful for the journey and opportunity while I can make the difficult decision of knowing when it is the best to walk away. I will never step on my soul for money, validation or out of fear. God is with me.

I went to the job center to check my options. I want to tattoo. But options seem limited. I am open to other countries as well as going back to Romania if I have to. If anyone reading this knows a tattoo shop that actually want real artists working there, inform me. Either way, I am amazed of how much I have grown on an emotional level as I can remain calm during chaos and have a feeling that everything will turn out just fine.

I managed to finish this cute Border Collie dog portrait before my machine starting to " age". Practicing in the free time on fakeskin therefore is no longer an option as I have to make sure the machine will work during the rest of my remaining time here. So I paint and draw again in the pauses between clients. The thing I craved for in months. Yay.

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I am telling the reality of my story because I am sure that somewhere out there at least one person might feel inspired or encouraged to do the same: to choose dignity, self respect and their own sanity and never allow other people to decide their fate.

Amen!

P.S. There are more details of the story which are not comfortable to reveal now, but I will for sure make a full transparent post about my experience in this shop in the near future.Leaving an image of the wonderful resignation letter on the blockchain for the future me to admire years from now.

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Looks very creative and fascinating work. No you don't need to leave the tattoo shope I think it's very interesting work. Honestly I liked it very much 😍

I have a different opinion, I am not sure you have read the post from the reply I am reading. Thanks for the appreciation of my work anyway!

Good on you girl. Seems like they are trying to get away with paying people the least amount of money. Maybe if they made you a counter offer when you first raised the issue, it would have been more sincere and perhaps you could come to some sort of midway agreement. But to make an offer when you hand in your notice makes the whole issue so ugly.

I don't think there are many Dane's on Hive, tagging the only one I know @cwow2, not sure if he can help in any way. Hopefully you will find something soon. Good luck

I am happy in a way that I got his full reaction, it made me realize how detrimental for my soul it would be to stay. Thank you for trying to help🤗

Seems like they are trying to get away with paying people the least amount of money.

Well. This is pretty common here in Denmark, since the pay is already "high" compared to other countries. But many are still just surviving and not thriving, which sucks x)

Hmm, depending on which tattoo shop you talked about and where in the country you are.
I do have 1 friend, who have been tattooing for a while now and have been to a few shops. Also, I know of a few others, but not friends.

It was a surprise to me in a way, where is the hygge spirit lol . The country is beautiful though and I will not make the mistake to label a whole country because of a bunch of danish people that did me wrong.
I am in the southern part of Denmark.

But many are still just surviving and not thriving, which sucks x)

I agree on that. If I would want to just survive I can come back to my home country, where the struggle is real . From what I have heard, the tattoo industry in here is all about making money and less about making art and the majority of shop owners are just money oriented, without too much care for the artists themselves. I sure hope and believe that not 100% of the tattoo shops are like this.

Sounds like you made the right decision. The place sounds toxic to the soul. Good luck in whatever comes next.

Yes it is. I have made lemonade out of lemons but enough is enough. Thank you, I am strong and I will find a way for sure 🤗

Thanks for sharing your story my friend just keep being creative Mary 👍🏾 @tipu curate 2

Thank you🤗

You are more than welcome my friend it's been a long time

I hope that you are enjoying your weekend and I really hope you have a wonderful day today ✌🏾

Jeez, again the issues of human kind comes visible with the work environment you describe. For your own sake you gotta leave, I left so many times in the past 2 years for the same reasons. I don't wanna sell my soul for a few bucks. Too many years I endured toxic work environments just to be left without hope that in Germany it can be any different. Right now I'm up in the air with nothing, hoping to get a contract within the next 4 weeks to not end up homeless with Joy because my dear friend, brother in law and landlord passed away a few weeks ago. And options for people like you and me are limited in Europe. But as hard as this way is, I rather walk it, right?

Keeping my fingers crossed for you and I will keep an ear and eye open ;).

Oh your situation is tough too! I admire your strenght really and I feel you. Somehow , in miraculous ways, things work out. It is very difficult to see things right in the turmoil.

It is a toxic environment and it took a lot of mental strenght to resist. I promised to myself I will never tolerate abuse of any form ever again. The employer's reaction made me realize I am doing the right thing.
We are on the edge girl now.

4 weeks up in the air. Oh pray. I have a strong faith and I do believe the Universe will help both of us and other people in such tough situations.

I look at it as being another stepping stone to building my resilience.
I even celebrated my resignation with a nice sparkling soda in my big mug, saying : cheers girl, you've got lots of courage/ balls😅
I will pray for you too, we are strong , we can overcome anything as long as we refuse to lose our dignity and self respect. I will never allow any man or woman to treat me with disrespect, talking trash. I walk away and it is so good to listen to your soul.
My experience in Germany working there was very short lived and I have talked about it. It left me with a bitter taste. But I grew stronger. So will you.
Hugs and stay in faith🤗🤗🤗

How much do you pay for your tattoo machine ?
Plenty so cheap and well designed on Ebay from China
Now to me , the INK is what matters and the quality of the blades.
I have learned to tattoo on skin and then created few designs and tattooed few
It was fun :) as a job it is well paid too and you do have a lot of talent as an artist.
Have you tried also with no machine ? It is called old school tattoo , directly with the needle ...honestly the easier , less painful one and the colors stays in for a very long time and there you go ..no machine needed.
But again to me , the price is in the INK unless you want to do only black tattoos and then you can use the welknown very clean charcoal powder.

Oh my first machine was cheap under 200 dollars. But with the next one I have spend over 1000 to level up. But I agree with you it is never about the machine as about the artist and technique

Yes 💪🏻

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Wow 3 years....pfff time flies

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Thank you very much , it has been quite a journey to reach this far. And when I think of these 3 years I have a feeling that I changed and grown and somehow a tiny part of this community took part in my process as well. I am grateful, Hive did make a huge difference in my life on multiple levels.

It's nice to hear that your experience with Hive has been so positive over the past three years.

May your future endeavors be filled with even more growth, learning, and success. Cheers to many more years.

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