I would imagine that most people — if you ask them — would insist that they are kind people.
After all, few of us were taught as children that being unpleasant or unkind was the way to get ahead in life.
Of course, kindness likely means very different things to different people. For the most part we were probably taught some version of the famous Golden Rule: ”treat other people as we wish other people would treat us.”
But it's not always that simple!
If we really want to adapt a practice of kindness, being kind means being kind to not just the people we like and who we feel are worthy, but being kind to everybody. We have to set aside our judgments and prejudices.
That includes such things as when that idiot who always annoys us — and whom we really dislike because everything they say grates on our nerves — has car trouble, we still do the kind thing and offer to carpool with them.
Just to clarify, this is not to say that kindness requires us to become everybody's doormat. That's not what this is about, even though there are many people who believe that striving to be a kind person means you have a neon ”use me” sign taped to your forehead!
You know, the whole "nice guys finish last" thing. Not true.
The point I'm making here, is that in an authentic practice of kindness, that kindness is not contingent. It is not a "reward" we hand out for good behavior, it is a lifestyle we fully adopt and embrace.
You have probably met people from time to time who amazed you by being authentically good and kind even under the most difficult of circumstances. And we think to ourselves "that person doesn't have a bad bone in their bodies!"
As often as not, they were not necessarily born, that way, they actively practice being that way!
However, there is an important part of kindness that we have not yet talked about: And that is being kind to ourselves.
In truth, it is very difficult to practice kindness in the world if you're not kind to yourself. There are probably those who would argue against what I'm saying there, insisting that being kind to yourself is selfish. But it actually isn't.
In a sense, you are setting an example for the world by also practicing kindness with yourself. What does that even mean? For starters it means silencing our negative inner critic that's perhaps telling us we're being selfish, or we're not doing enough, or that we don't deserve even a little basic decency.
I have met a surprisingly large number of people who seemed to be kind souls on the surface, but they did not treat themselves very well. Consistency matters!
It's not always easy to learn to be honest with ourselves, and to let our self-judgments fall away. But one of the interesting things I have discovered is that it is actually quite healing to do so and in healing that part of ourselves we're able to pass something along to other people that may also help heal them in this jaded world of ours.
And yes, the world does seem to have grown jaded. We seem to have more polarity than we used to; more people disagreeing over the most basic of things.
This post was — in large part — inspired by an anecdote that came across my desk this afternoon from our local city-wide message board, in which someone was genuinely surprised that someone in the community truly went out of their way to help, even though they were of a polar opposite political persuasion.
It was a lovely story, but also a poignant reminder of have we have reached this twisted place where people with opinions different from our own are "evil monsters."
But they are not. They are just people.
I have managed to reach an age where I can actually look backwards for 50 years and ascertain that most people — on average — are not necessarily less kind than they used to be, but because of our extremely busy schedules and constant demands to do this and do that, our naturally kind inclinations have been locked up behind protective walls.
But the world needs all the kindness it can get! So be aware of what is around you, and when you can choose an option of kindness rather than one of dismissal or even just lowering your head and walking by without taking action.
Thanks for stopping by, and have a great Sunday!
Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation! I do my best to answer comments, even if it sometimes takes a few days!
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Created at 2025.01.12 00:42 PST
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