Photo by Kristin Vogt from Pexels
I love to stay indoors. It is as simple as that. There is nothing outside the four walls of my room that would satisfy me as much as just being on my bed or couch. I can’t really tell how I got to this point but maybe I was always this way.
I do remember how I loved to play with the group of friends I had then as a child. When we had no light, I would go out and play till dusk. I would play so much that it would put me in trouble sometimes. I remember sneaking out when my mom would warn me from going outside. She only did this when I was a bad daughter. Somehow, in some way, I would always find a way to play and escape punishment. I would mostly just sneak back in when mom is sleeping.
So you see, my mom never shielded me despite being an only child. Not like she threw caution to the wind, but she let me experience what being a child is to the fullest. She did not stop me from mingling or making new friends, but she raised an eyebrow when I brought home a type of attitude or people she did not like, and she never failed to take the necessary measures to stop it. I learned a lot of things from experience. And it is that experience that shaped me today.
I remember when all I would want to do is be far from home. I would return home at very odd hours. Neighbors, being the nosy people they are, always thought they could advise my mom to be stricter with me. When I remember that part my blood still boils. Leave it to people whose lives are barely in order to give you advice on how you should run yours. My mom never failed to remind them that I was her child and she was sure I would learn soon.
I did learn because pretty soon my mother is pushing for me to leave the house and go be a human being. I don’t know if it was the freedom she gave me or if it was the breakout of pimples that made me feel insecure about myself but pretty soon, I found that I preferred to just stay home. I would remain indoors all day when I got back from school, that was of course till I met a girl I thought was a friend and I would start hanging out with her instead. Getting to know her introduced me to a certain kind of other company.
Anyway, the fact remains that I immediately retreated back to my shell when she did what a human does best. From then till now, I find my joys and comfort in the little things even if those things are my bed and books. All I need is at home and why I get pissed most times when people try to draw me out even if they are right and I need to go out.
I honestly prefer to buy whatever I need and remain indoors. I am the type of person who would wine and dine alone. Unless it is business, I cannot stand the presence of another human being around me except for family of course. Sometimes people within close proximity just makes my skin crawl.
This doesn’t mean I don’t like to go out. I like to go out but when it is something I want to do, and not have to. Being made to do something just makes me resent the source and whatever I am doing…okay! Rant Over!
In a nutshell, I like to stay indoors and have fun. I only go outside when I want to because that is the only time I enjoy it. Force me out and well, my mind will practically be somewhere else: my bed.
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