Coming from a background where you need to earn everything and nothing is for free, I’d say that Financial Security sounds just about right. In fact, the word security is always enough to make heads turn.
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I feel that financial stability and freedom triumphs any other thing especially in a long term relationship like let’s say marriage. In a country like this, if you’re not financially stable and free enough, you may never be able to enjoy to the full extent what a real relationship should be like.
Now, don’t come for my head. Everyone to themselves, but I always believe that stability comes first. If you aren’t stable enough as a man financially, you would have problem providing for yourself let alone another person. That is always why the “broke mentality” is born because once you’re not having enough, there’s a certain kind of view you begin to have and it’s never good.
On the other hand, if you’re not grounded enough as a woman, there’ll be a huge problem with appreciating any form of effort it takes to be financially free. Sometimes, I feel that why some of the ladies my age and above think it’s okay to just waste money is because they have never had to really work for it. Why it’s easy to pick trivial things over important things is because they’ve never understood what it means to lack basic necessities. To me, stability in all aspects especially financially, matters. A lot!
Someone made the following statement to me days ago, he said, “You work too hard o. Remember you’re a girl and your man will need your attention. I think these things are too much of distraction and it will be hard for you to balance them in the future.”
I get it. I understood where he was coming from but then I asked him a question, “My dear, if you know you’re going to be the one to sort out the bills for that month, light, transportation, food, other things needed to keep two people afloat, and you have no other form of support, tell me, would any other thing matter to you?”
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Of course, as a know it all guy, he had a response to give. Now, I’m not Wonder Woman. I’m not at that point in my life where I have the perfect equilibrium of everything. I’m in my early twenties and a young girl with big dreams. I don’t know how it is for anyone else but, not worrying about the bills makes me feel like a human being. I’m able to think clearly when I have food in my stomach. I can’t wake up and goof around when my future is depending on me, literally.
I might not have time to do anything else but work. However, I know it won’t be this way forever. I know in my heart, that in the near future, I’ll still get to work but my whole time would be devoted to my family and my loving husband. Because I know by that time, we won’t lack anything and won’t have to worry about children fees or whatever it is we should be worrying about if we had no foresight. That would give love the chance to blossom to the fullest, my kind of love anyway.
For now, there’s a silent agreement to do what we need to and do it well. I don’t know what other people see their partner as or how they perceive their relationship but I and mine are way past that point where we doubt each other or constantly “feel” the need to be all over each other’s faces. Don’t get me wrong. We love each other and miss each other everyday but I understand he’s a man who needs to get things done and I let him. He also understands I’m a young woman who has to get things done right now, and he understands and respects that. Which is one of the many reasons why I love him. He gives me my space without trying to make me feel guilty or anything for working to keep my life.
But like I said, it won’t be that way forever. These are just building blocks and yes we love each other. I don’t think we would have gotten together (or even gotten this far) if we didn’t but we both know that love can only go so far. Love is not the language of the world. It’s a language only we understand as partners. And because we understand this, we see why it is important to have both: Love & Money.
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