Well, it's 2024 now where I am so I just wanna say Happy New Year to all of you wherever you guys are right now! Another year another Hive New Year's Resolution post. I know some of you are allergic to New Year's Resolution posts so I'm just gonna call this 2024 goals post. Because we do have goals in life right? And for me, 2024 looks promising. I've got nothing but positive vibes for you all. I promise to continue being angelic this year. :)

Just a quick recap of 2023, the first few months of the year I was still coping/grieving and looking for ways to adapt to city life without my best friend. And so I got into PC gaming early last year and was addicted to it for a couple of months thinking it would help me forget my loneliness. I even spent lots of money just to appear stronger and gain status in game lol. I met a friend through a common friend who introduced me to this MMORPG and my whole life almost completely fell apart when things didn't work out. In the end, I desperately went to therapy to save my dysfunctional myself and was eventually diagnosed with BPD. Things started to make sense. My tendency to obsess on someone or zero in on things made sense. My low self-esteem made me accepting of slight affection and attention. I lost my standards in everything. But eventually, consistent therapy greatly help me to become self-aware, think rationaly and adjust my behavior to difficult social situations. The process wasn't easy of course but healing and self-improvement is a lifetime journey anyway. There is no shortcut.

Due to some "incident" I was able to reconnect with my sister and she was fantastic. She continue to visit me at my place and help me with stuff every now then. I guess that was the turning point of my BPD relapse and things are great right now. I never want to go back to darkness ever again.

I also continue to be employed with the same company lol. Someone with borderline traits do find it hard to keep anything stable - jobs, hobbies, and friends. So yeah, what an achievement it is to still have a stable job - hurray!

Money-wise, gosh, I'm at my best and I'm proud of it! I've never realized that I would be able to be self-disciplined financially and so I was able to save some decent amount (despite my early gaming addictions and all) to be able to travel or move elsewhere in the future. We'll move on to money goals in a bit.

I think the highlight of my 2023 was I picked up a new hobby. I replaced PC gaming with pool and so far things are getting exciting. When I started to get serious and learn everything, I realized how difficult and sophisticated of a game this really is. My suckiness can be a bit discouraging but I definitely do not want to quit. Pool is where I channel my inner competitiveness now. My need to achieve and work hard for something greatly helps my mental health/BPD. Without something to work hard for or keep ourselves busy, I swear we'd all be despressed. Actively looking for something challenging helps our mental state and gives us a sense of achivement. I guess I'd rather obsesses over a new hobby/passion than obsess over someone because I know that the latter can make me relapse and ruin my life. Hobbies don't hurt me.

And before I end this post with a big bang, I just want to share or document a few of my goals this 2024.

• Financial goals: I need to be able to save a certain amount (insert amount here) by EOY. This is just to add to my current EF and savings. Post more on Hive of course to have a bit of crypto savings on the side. Continue being frugal AF while being able to spend a bit on domestic travel or eating out with friends once in a while (social goals ). And limit my online shopping unless I need something really necessary.

• Investment goals: Hopefully to buy a small piece of property or land before the end of the year.

• Fitness/Health goals I need to strictly stick to my workout routine this year - swim 2x a week, indoor excercising (more on sit-ups, push-ups, yoga and meditation). Regular walk outside on top of everything. I promise to continue having a balanced diet this year (regular healthy veggie meals + once in a while unhealthy tasty snacks lol).

• Self-Development goals - I consider my new hobby, billiards, as a self-development goal considering the many benefits of playing this game to my physical and mental health. I hope to improve and become a better pool player this year, meaning, that I can beat my mentor and play with the other regulars in our local pool hall. I know it sounds ambitious but then this goal gives me a sense of purpose and I don't see anything wrong with setting my expectations high. And by the way, I'm planning to buy my own gear (cue stick) really soon! :)

• Career Goals After a recent cyberattack in our system, I asked my boss to let me handle another program/client. I realized how extremely unsatisfied I am if I'm being unproductive. I need more projects and more things to do so I can qualify for wage increase and stuff. Handling a new account would also help me brush up on my tech skills and work stuff. I defintely need a skill upgrade.

• Travel goals - I've never realized that I will come to this point thinking I would be traveling again. It's been a while and the world misses me now. Well okay, not really hardcore traveling like before, probably just slow traveling or "slow nomading" (I think this is what they call it these days). I definitely don't wanna miss out on good things out there, out there in the world y'know, so hopefully I would be able to do this EOY, and if not, then early next year. Who knows?

Diablo says Happy New Year y'all! :)

And here we are just chillin, without people ugh lol, at our happiest. :)