When I was quite young and had both parents taking care of me and my needs, and most especially having a say about my decisions about my life, especially my mum, I always imagined what it would be like to grow old, be far away from them, have the freedom they always deprived me and have a say about my life and the decisions that concern me.
I guess not just myself, because many of us back then, always dreamt and imagined what it would be like to become an adult and have control over our lives, but what we never imagined was that being an adult comes with a bogus and hectic responsibility. The funny thing is that you don't only become responsible got yourself but I found that that at a point in time, we became responsible for our siblings and then onto our parents before we even think about marriage.
Would we say aging or getting older is not hectic and strenuous? Oh, it is, and if you are looking at it from my angle, you would wish you could turn back the hands of the clock, to being a child to your parents even though getting older comes with its fun, yeah, that can not be denied, but the responsibility equates to the fun in aging.
A Nigeria songwriter sang;
"Adulthood na scam, you better get am for your mind
You gats to hustle, make a living, 24-7
Nobody go ask if you don chop
Nobody go send you free money
If you no get na you sabi
Adulthood na scam"
Many of us wished we were told what adulthood looked like, just maybe we would have savoured our childhood a little longer and enjoyed everything that entails being a child before jumping into adulthood, even though we have most of us like me especially the eldest child in the family who had to grow faster because of the responsibility in the family, so they could help their parents but aging or growing older is a different ball game.
I am excited that I am getting older, I mean in a few months I will be doing my twenties last lap, and for the first time, I am planning to do a little thing for myself, like a photo shoot, and a few of the other things I have never done for myself throughout during my birthday, I mean it is my last step in the twenties and it wouldn't be much of a bad idea but truth be told, my excitement does not eradicate the fact that I am scared of going into my thirties.
It's not supposed to be much of a big deal, I mean, I have been shouldering a lot of responsibilities since I lost my dad who was the sole breadwinner of our family when I was sixteen years old, and it is not supposed to be different but it is because I was a girl with big dreams, and in my itinerary, I am supposed to be resting now, with my chains of business as a side hustle while I still had my career and having a fill of my time, if life had worked according to plans by younger self had for herself and her older self but life had its twist of fate prepared for me.
When it comes to aging especially in women, not only do we have a responsibility to ourselves and our families, but societal expectations are always on a different level, and it gets tougher and real because they are all looking up to you for something they tag normal or expected to happen in our lives for an aging lady. They feel it is the norm and if it is not happening in your life as a mature or older lady, then it's either, there is a problem, you have a problem or you are the problem.
Your family and society will expect you to get married and start having children, and your family will think at this age, you've got it covered and sorted out and mostly will expect you to come running to them whenever and however they call you and need your help but meanwhile, you have your struggles, flaws, and weaknesses, you need someone too, you need their hugs and words of encouragement, you still very much confuse and in-between but they wouldn't know that because they believe you are old enough and got everything under control.
You on the other hand are in between your career life, family life, social life, personal life, and finances, trying to balance everything. Did I hear anyone say life gets easy as you mature? I thought as much because it gets freaking harder, scarier, tougher, and crazier that if you don't always find time to stop and catch your breath, or unwind and shut yourself out from the world, you could be the next RIP on a Saturday poster.
It is what it is! Phew!
This is my entry to the Day 25 #Januaryinleo prompt, and here is the link to participate)
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