Recently, I was part of a group project, and like most things these days, we held an online meeting. The session was productive—we bounced ideas off each other, debated possible solutions, and laid the groundwork for what we wanted to achieve. I was fully active in the conversation, participating as much as anyone else. Then something happened that caught me completely off guard.
In the middle of the meeting, one of my teammates suddenly said, "Is this not this same girl that acts as if she can't talk at the Hub?” It took me a moment to process that statement. At first, I thought he was joking, but then a few other people said things that literally showed there were agreeing with him. Apparently, some of them had never really heard me speak much before. “You’re always so quiet at the hub,” one of them added.
That comment stayed with me long after the meeting ended. I actually had a flashback to few days ago when my sister sent me a screenshot of her conversation with one of her classmates. From what I saw in the screenshot, the person claims that I look like I'm a pro in giving the 'silent treatment'. The thing is, I’ve never really thought of myself as quiet. Sure, I’m not the loudest or most talkative person in the room, but I wouldn’t describe myself as someone who just blends into the background either. At least, I didn’t think so.
Truthfully, I can be pretty jovial with the people I know well. I love making jokes, having deep conversations, and connecting with those close to me. Scratch that, people close to me. What I hadn’t realized, though, was how differently I came across to others, especially those who aren’t in my inner circle.
I think back to how I behave at the tech hub where I study, and maybe they’re right. I don’t speak much with people who aren’t working on the same course as me. I stick with my group, my corner, and don’t often branch out to chat with others. It's not that I’m intentionally trying to be quiet or distant, sometimes I don't even know what to say to them.
The funny thing is, if you had asked me before that meeting if I considered myself quiet, I would have said, “No, not really.” But here I was, suddenly aware of how others perceive me, and I couldn’t entirely dismiss it because multiple people had the same observation. The feedback from that meeting made me reflect on how I present myself in group settings, particularly in spaces like the hub.
I wouldn't say I need to be the loudest voice in the room or that I want to become someone I’m not, but maybe it wouldn’t hurt to step out of my comfort zone a little more. Networking, after all, is more than just doing the same course as someone—it’s about building connections beyond immediate circles. Maybe I’ve been too focused on my own lane and haven’t taken the opportunity to interact with others as much as I could.
This realization isn’t something I’m going feel pressured to change overnight. I don’t believe that anyone has to mold themselves to fit into other people’s expectations or perceptions, but I do think it’s worth paying attention to patterns and feedback, especially when more than one person brings it up.
It’s true that I don’t relate with a lot of people at the hub, but that doesn’t mean I have to stick to that narrative. The beauty of self-awareness is that it allows room for growth. I’m not about to become the most extroverted person in the room, but I’m willing to try and connect more. The outcome might actually work out for good.
So, no pressure, but I think it’s time to change the narrative a little. Probably doing simple things like starting up a conversation with few persons doing a different course at the hub, I can definitely make more of an effort. If nothing else, it might just help me broaden my network and gain potentially helpful connections.
At the end of the day, it’s all about balance. I don’t need to force myself into being the life of the party, but I also don’t have to stay stuck in the quiet, unnoticed corner either. I can find my own rhythm, a place where I feel comfortable being both the listener and the speaker when the moment feels right.
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