My Disciplinary Model
Last night, I was relaxing in my compound when I heard my neighbor scolding her little boy about not feeling remorse whenever he commits an offense, instead he laughs, smiles or even tries to defend himself.
I just smiled and remembered when I was little, who are you to do such thing around my father? The very first day you practiced it would be your last.
The Holy Bible say in proverbs 22:6, "Train up a child in the way that he should go, when he is old, he will not depart from it."
Training requires different strategies, different skills, and equipment. Training is dynamic and not stagnant on one method. The reason is that some individuals might not really learn with one method, but when you switch, it might begin to have an effect on them.
At each stage in training, there is a unique method to be used to make the process effective. If one takes the principles that he/she should have used for beginners and uses them on those who are above that level, the outcome would be poor and vice versa.
I am not yet a parent but I have seen how my parents trained my younger ones, and I am also opportune to groom my younger ones.
Discipline is one of the ingredients that a child must never miss in life. No matter how much you cherish your child, ensure that nothing at all prevents you from correcting them properly.
Some parents would say, "But he is still a child. I don't need to be hard on him." Well, the best time for building morals is childhood, if you miss that stage, you may struggle and probably not get it back. A tree can only be bent or straightened when it is young, but when it matures, forget it, the only thing you can do is trimming.
From what I saw in discipline from my parents, there are two methods to coach a child, and these methods are based on the stage at which the child is, the first method is the "Rod method," and the second method is "the word method."
The rod method involves punishment and the use of a cane. For a child to know that he or she is wrong, sometimes, you need to subject them to pain in order to create that reality in them.
A child's heart is like an empty slate. Children assume everything they do is right, at this point, some of them don't even pay attention to words, but when you either flog or punish them they will realize they are wrong.
But I need to make something right, some parents are cruel, they beat and punish their children like slaves. It's good to flog the child but there should be limits and love attached.
Flog or spank to correct and not to inflict injuries because that will make the child think you hate him/her instead and it's not all the time you should flog, there are cases that will demand correction with words even at this stage. Too much of everything is bad.
The word method is for teenagers and adults. During this period, the child might be feeling like a boss, any attempt to use punishment or cane on them might complicate issues. At this point, I believe that the foundation you have laid while training them as children should be able soften their hearts towards correction.
So, all you need to do now is talk to them as you would talk to your fellow friends whenever they go wrong. Correct them with love, and let them know that you want the best for them.
Nevertheless, there are situations where you would need to act aggressive so that they would know you are serious. Beating at this point is not wrong but trust me, it will spoil your relationship with the child and maybe complicate the whole thing.
The above is the kind of disciplinary measure I intend to carry on my kids some day. I found that method effective from experience. Well, everyone has what works for them.
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