My work takes up a large part of my time. Since finishing my studies in computer science, I started my own business. It's working, not exactly as I would like, but it allows me to pay my bills, which is already a big step for me.
I sincerely thought that creating my company in the technology field would give me wings and help me escape "the matrix." Ultimately, I realize that I am trapped in a cage I built myself.
However, I am not here to complain. I have the choice to escape this prison. Since I built it, I also know how to free myself from it. The difficulty lies in the fact that it requires making big decisions, decisions that could turn my life upside down.
I like computer science, but I don't think I love it enough to make it my long-term profession. Even less to be an entrepreneur in this field. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about my situation, which leads me to ask essential questions: what do I really like in life?
Being Outside
My job in IT forces me to spend an enormous amount of time behind my computer, locked up at home. Gradually, I feel the desire to go out. But I don't listen to myself: I keep working. Yet, the less I go out, the worse I work because my brain lacks freshness.
I continue this vicious cycle, hurting myself, until I finally listen to myself. Then, I put on my shoes and go out to get some air. Sometimes to run, sometimes just to walk. This ritual usually lasts about a week.
Then, as soon as I feel better, I lock myself back into a cycle of several weeks. And honestly, it's not sustainable. I can't keep living like this.
This weekend, @altheana's brother-in-law was at the house. We needed his help for some work: he lent us his trailer to move heavy loads and helped us install equipment in the house. Before us, the house belonged to a drug dealer who is now in prison. Unfortunately, he did a lot of damage to the place. For example, he built this ugly shed in front of the house.
So, we had a project to dismantle it.
First, we removed the roof. We thought the whole structure was barely holding together, but in the end, there was an incalculable number of screws.
What was supposed to take us an hour ended up occupying us for at least three hours. But, honestly, I didn't see the time pass. I love being outside. It reminds me of a saying that, when you do what you love, you don't see the time fly by. Apparently, judging by the time, writing here is also something I enjoy.
It's not necessarily about breaking or building something that I enjoy, but rather seeing the direct impact of my work while spending time outside. I remember my grandfather, who said, when we were still kids, that he would like one of us (my brothers, sisters, or myself) to get into woodworking.
This phrase resonates particularly with me at the moment, especially at a time when my work is exhausting me. 
When we finished dismantling the shed, it was dark. But this morning, I still went out to take a picture: 
Now, there's a big cleanup to be done, both on the facade and on the ground. The problem is that there's a lot of wind at the moment. A storm is currently hitting Ireland, and although we're 500 km away, we are experiencing gusts exceeding 80 km/h.
I'm very grateful to @altheana's brother-in-law, who took time out of his weekend to help us with some work around the house. He also taught me some techniques with the drill, particularly how to better use the many modes on mine. So, I come out of this weekend with significant changes accomplished, a clearer mind, and new skills.
Woodworking
It doesn't have much, or almost, to do with the main activities of the weekend I had. But I think what could really please me is working with wood. I love the feel of wood, its smell when cut, the pleasure of using tools, and especially building something visual and tangible.
In the coming weeks, I plan to buy a wooden piece of furniture and start renovating it. I am convinced that it is an activity I could enjoy. Much more than computer science, to be honest. In any case, I feel like it makes more sense to me.
The English translation was done using the DeepL API, and the images were taken with my smartphone.
Posted Using INLEO
