When my mom visited our house for the first time, she had a lot to say about my minimalist lifestyle. And let's just say, it wasn't exactly praise. Instead of admiring the simplicity I’ve embraced, she launched into a full-blown critique, even insinuating that my husband wasn’t providing enough money for me to buy the necessary kitchen items. This was despite the fact that he’s doing just fine financially. The more I defended him, the more the conversation escalated.
As she walked into my kitchen, her eyes scanned through the kitchen, taking in the bare essentials "two pots, a frying pan, and a kettle, that’s it?" She could not wrap her head around how I could possibly be happy with such a sparse setup. One complaint led to another. She counted everything in the kitchen: two bowls, three spoons, two forks, and a few ceramic dishes. It seemed like she was expecting more. Haha! It was actually funny.
But here's the thing: I don't mind. This is my home, and I chose to make it this way. I’m completely satisfied with what I have because everything I own is necessary. She kept asking questions, as though hoping for a hidden stash of kitchenware somewhere. "You mean you don’t have any other plates or spoons hidden away?" she’d ask, to which I’d reply, “No, momma. This is it.”
Her concern only deepened when she asked, “What if you have visitors?” To that, I simply said, “Let me worry about that.”
Then, she went into full lecture mode: “As a married woman, two pots aren’t enough! A woman is known for the things she accumulates, especially in her kitchen. That’s just how it is.”
I had to push back. I don’t agree. To me, cluttering my kitchen with unnecessary items won’t bring happiness. In fact, I’ve learned that having fewer things is more fulfilling. Everything in my kitchen serves a daily purpose, and if I don't need it, I don’t want it. Plus, excess clutter just invites pests and if you’re wondering why you’re not seeing any in my home, it’s because I don’t give them space to settle. My home, my choice, I guess!
On the third day of her stay, with my husband out working, she asked me to sit with her in her room. She started lecturing me again, this time about the importance of owning a lot of things now that I am married. She had noticed I do the laundry by hand and couldn’t understand why after all, we have the money to purchase a washing machine.
She shared how, in her youthful days, she worked hard and used her earnings to buy sets of pots, coolers, cups etc.“Do you think I was a fool for doing that?” she asked. “Prices keep rising everyday, and when you need those things, they’re going to be even more expensive!”
I could sense where this was going she was starting to think my husband was being stingy. “But what about you?” she pressed. “Aren’t you working too? Don’t you want more?” She even suggested bringing over things from her home. The irony wasn’t lost on me. Minimalism, for her, wasn’t an option.
To be fair, she was used to having a lot. When I lived with her, there was barely any room to breathe between all the stuff she hoarded. And let’s just say the house wasn’t exactly pest-free. I remember the time a scorpion bit me while I was sleeping definitely not an experience I wanted to repeat. That moment was a turning point. It was the day I vowed to run my own home differently.
So, how do I explain my choices and reassure her? How do I make her understand that this is my decision, and my husband supports it? He’s just as happy with a clutter-free home as I am. We’re a team in this.
I took a deep breath and said, “Mom, I completely understand your concerns, and I truly appreciate your perspective. But for me, living in a clutter-free space is essential. Everything we own is something we use frequently, and it adds value to our daily life and perhaps we could live without those things you think are important. We’ve been married for three years, and we’ve always focused on the essentials. If something isn’t a priority, it’s not urgent. Our space has brought us peace and comfort, and we’ve learned to be content with what we truly need.”
I just hoped she does not only 'understand' but 'deeply understand' that this lifestyle isn’t about being careless or deprived. It’s about living with intention, and knowing exactly what adds value to our lives and what does not. So, that was how she stopped trying to make me do things her own way rather she let me have my way.
However, it's high time people get to understand and accept that minimalism is actually a personal and conscious decision not a reflection or neglect of financial status. It's more about prioritizing that Which truly matters.
less can be more especially when you are a content filled person. The power of simplicity is focusing on essentials in order to achieve a calm and orderly environment and space.
