University life: Studying and meeting new friends.

in #hive-1538503 months ago


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  I think that University was a rollercoaster for me socially speaking. In school, I was a very shy guy with not many friends and suffered bullying. I was a minor and my parents were pretty rigid with my limits. I joined University and I wasn't a minor anymore. I started to hang out late at night and meet tons of people. I traveled also through the country going to conferences and students meeting with friends. One of the groups of friends that I was into was composed of 4 guys and 1 girl. We used to hang out everywhere.


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  We went camping, we traveled to some other cities together. But we had a problem in that group. The girl was clearly in love by one of us, and there was another guy from the group who was in love with her. It was a bit messed up. The guy who was in love with her got a kiss one time, which made things worse since she didn't want more than that. And he started to suffer a lot. I was pretty close to him at that time, I felt pity. The girl also got some kisses from the guy that she was in love with, but he didn't want more than that, since let's say that he was a bit womanizer. It was crazy how he had an easy way to catch women's attention. We used to say that he had honey on him.

  So I and the other guy that wasn't in that triangle were always under lots of drama and suffering. He was a bit luckier than me in most cases, since he was married, so many times he didn't go out with us to stay with his family. But still, when we were at the campus he saw the bad moments there. I tried to give support to the guy who was in love with this friend of ours, but he was too dramatic sometimes for me. This guy was a bit hypocritical also. One time I wanted to kiss one girl and I told him and in the end, he tried before me, I laughed a lot when he didn't get it.


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  I stopped our friendship totally when I saw him doing another unethical action (no women-related) which made me think that he wasn't a good friend at all. He used to have that good catholic label, going to church and all the things, but in the end, I saw him doing many things that weren't very "catholic".

  About the other 3? Those maybe I miss a bit. Well, my married friend was always the more distant from us so he followed his path with his family, I think he had a very possessive wife. I stayed a friend a bit more of the other guy and the girl, we hung out a bit after university. They helped me also to get some voluntary positions as a teacher for poor kids. They are both teachers right now, at least the last thing that I heard. I started my Ph.D. and abandoned the voluntary project and after that came to Canada. I lost a bit of contact with both. I remember that the girl met another guy in the end, and she was happy with him.


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  While writing this text I remembered all the history and made me think about why not get in touch with some of them. Some part of the gang doesn't make me interested in contacting them for now. The married guy at that time since he never also looked for me I am a bit rancorous about that, and the other guy it had many ethical problems that made me rethink what type of friendships I wanted to have. But the other part of the gang it is totally worth it in my point of view and hopefully they will think about that too. Right now we are far away but maybe we can meet again in the near future.


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  Acho que a universidade foi uma montanha-russa para mim, socialmente falando. Na escola, eu era um cara muito tímido, com poucos amigos e sofria bullying. Eu era menor de idade e meus pais eram bem rígidos com meus limites. Entrei para a universidade e não era mais menor de idade. Comecei a sair tarde da noite e conhecer várias pessoas. Também viajei pelo país indo a conferências e encontros de estudantes com amigos. Um dos grupos de amigos que eu participava era composto por 4 rapazes e 1 moça. Costumávamos sair em todos os lugares.


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  Fomos acampar, viajamos para outras cidades juntos. Mas tínhamos um problema naquele grupo. A garota estava claramente apaixonada por um de nós, e havia outro cara do grupo que estava apaixonado por ela. Foi um pouco confuso. O cara que estava apaixonado por ela ganhou um beijo uma vez, o que piorou as coisas, já que ela não queria mais do que isso. E ele começou a sofrer muito. Eu era bem próximo dele naquela época, senti pena. A garota também ganhou alguns beijos do cara por quem ela estava apaixonada, mas ele não queria mais do que isso, já que digamos que ele era um pouco mulherengo. Era louco como ele tinha um jeito fácil de chamar a atenção das mulheres. Costumávamos dizer que ele tinha mel nele.

  Então eu e o outro cara que não estava naquele triângulo sempre estávamos sob muito drama e sofrimento. Ele teve um pouco mais de sorte do que eu na maioria dos casos, já que ele era casado, então muitas vezes ele não saía conosco para ficar com sua família. Mas ainda assim, quando estávamos no campus, ele viu os momentos ruins lá. Eu tentei dar apoio ao cara que estava apaixonado por essa nossa amiga, mas ele era dramático demais às vezes para mim. Esse cara também era um pouco hipócrita. Uma vez eu quis beijar uma garota e eu disse a ele e no final, ele tentou antes de mim, eu ri muito quando ele não conseguiu.


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  Eu interrompi nossa amizade totalmente quando o vi fazendo outra ação antiética (não relacionada a mulheres) que me fez pensar que ele não era um bom amigo. Ele costumava ter aquele bom rótulo católico, indo à igreja e todas as coisas, mas no final, eu o vi fazendo muitas coisas que não eram muito "católicas".

  Sobre os outros 3? Talvez eu sinta um pouco de falta. Bem, meu amigo casado sempre foi o mais distante de nós, então ele seguiu seu caminho com sua família, acho que ele tinha uma esposa muito possessiva. Eu continuei sendo um pouco mais amigo do outro cara e da garota, nós saímos um pouco depois da faculdade. Eles também me ajudaram a conseguir alguns cargos voluntários como professor para crianças pobres. Ambos são professores agora, pelo menos a última coisa que ouvi. Comecei meu doutorado e abandonei o projeto voluntário e depois disso vim para o Canadá. Perdi um pouco de contato com os dois. Lembro que a garota conheceu outro cara no final, e ela ficou feliz com ele.


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  Enquanto escrevia este texto, lembrei-me de toda a história e me fez pensar sobre por que não entrar em contato com alguns deles. Alguns membros da gangue não me interessam em contatá-los por enquanto. O cara casado naquela época, como ele nunca me procurou, também estou um pouco rancoroso sobre isso, e o outro cara tinha muitos problemas éticos que me fizeram repensar que tipo de amizade eu queria ter. Mas a outra parte da gangue vale totalmente a pena no meu ponto de vista e espero que eles pensem nisso também. Agora estamos longe, mas talvez possamos nos encontrar novamente em um futuro próximo.

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I was a shy student when i entered in the university, i made some friends and believe and i left the situation with the same attitude and i am still a shy person. I don't like to change.

I am still shy...when my wife (when she met me) presented me to her friends, they thought that I was anti-social lol

I'd say you reach out... Especially to the ones you feel you still miss. Reaching out to them doesn't have to mean that you all will meet. It can be just to check up on each other.
Or even get your numbers so you can view each others stories and statuses on WhatsApp and Facebook.

That way, when they cross your mind, like now, you could just drop a "hi"🤗

I messaged two of them after writing the text hehhee

Alguns amigos próximos são sempre assim, um verdadeiro perigo ao contar tudo. Infelizmente achamos que eles são amigos e que podemos contar tudo, mas até nisso tem que ter cuidado.

Se parar para pensar, distancia é mesmo um bom motivo para acabar com a amizade, a gente segue um caminho o pessoal outro e quando paramos para perceber, acabou a amizade... tenso.

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Bzzzz, você está pensando sobre a universidade e amigos do passado? Alguém disse que vida acadêmica é como uma colmeia, você sabe? Muitos insetos trabalhando juntos! 😂 Bem, espero que você encontre tempo para rever os amigos de antigamente. Eu sou um grande defensor da construção de la #hivebr

Sim, as vezes me falta isso.

Tem que ter pelo menos um churrasco anual com a Galera

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Nice school experience
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I've lost track of so many friends over the years it's not even funny. It's hard to keep up with people when you live thousands of miles away... Great post and great memories!
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