Mum.
A Boy can get lost when they never were
When a hungry heart can’t bear to replace
the man’s face with the imprint that boy
can’t remember leaving there.
You broke my heart, she said.
No, it was already broken, I replied.
It was just that I was never enough to fix it.
And then you got sick.
I’ve heard that
When people escaped the Iron curtain
The Soviets arrested their families
And friends.
I know why they did it, the Soviets.
They used the love, and that’s why
I also know why those people ran.
But for all your running you can only get so far.
The tunnel you dig from the womb to this poem
Does not collapse - It entangles your heart.
in the fishing line left
on that quiet and empty beach.
And then you got sick.
So little time to sit on the sand and start the unravelling.
So many knots.
So few ends.
I always wanted to get back to the boy you used to take into the city.
Arm in arm to the Coles cafeteria
My tray over filled
With my wonder of you.
But they closed it down.
And then something happened to us too.
Too many things.
And try as I might, I just can’t get home.
Try as I might, Mum,
I just can’t get home.
Michael