Thursday 19, June 2022.
8:00 pm
It's amazing what people do when they feel no one is watching. For the past five hours, I have been sitting on a bench across the road staring at the building in front of me. A ten-story building that has an orange color and a touch of white complementing it from the window frames. The day was night so the windows beamed brightly with yellow lights.
From where I sat, I could see the people inside the rooms. Most of them had their curtains open so it wasn't much of a problem while the rest of them had their curtains closed. So all I had to work with was the shadow images playing like a video reel.
The main purpose of my being here is to catch her in the act but I have been here for over five hours and still, nothing is pointing an accusing finger at her. All I had picked up over the past hour were just images of people making out, kissing, cuddling, and one of people humping each other by the window side.
And this is always the best part of my job, not that I'm a stalker or something, it's just that people these days have no problem making their private life public. I mean why stay by the window? Why don't you just switch off the lights?..
Anyway, that's just the tip of the iceberg. The truly eye-catching one is teenagers, yes teenagers, young, free, and senseless. I don't know who I despise the most, them or the adults.
About two hours ago, I saw a young girl, about sixteen years of age, climb out from her window which is on the second floor, she made her way down using the fire escape by the window side, just to meet a sloppy-looking fella with beards longer than that of Osama bin ladens'. And together they ran across to my side of the road, straight into a flowering tree shaped like a tent. And without even caring they hammered away on each other, making all kinds of weird animal noises. Poor girl, she's probably going to get herpes, STD, or pregnant at the very least. I should have stopped them but it's a free America, so I stay focused and eyes peeled, in search of my target.
10:15 pm
And two hours later I see my target, he is an old man with a pot belly, dressed like a man of power, wearing suits and ties with shoes that matter. He walks up to the side of the building. Climbs the fire escape ladder to the first floor and knocks at a window that was dark as though no one was inside. I watch carefully until the lights came on. The window flies open and instantly closes shut once the man is in. And just like I have seen before, the two animals begin humping each other with lights on. Their shadows visible from the window. Mariam, if you are going to cheat on your husband, do it with the lights off.
10:30 pm
So, I pick up my things and head up to the second floor. Just to inform the fornicating animals that their lights are on. I reach the room, with the number 113 inscribed on the door. I knock, and I hear a scuffle, a voice from inside yells out, "who is it ?". But I remain quiet. I knock again and I hear the window flying open, but I laugh in silence and nod my head.
The door opens slowly, and a woman reveals herself,
"Hey darling, you home early". I smile and make my way inside, she follows me mouthing words stinking of lies and deceit.
I sit on the chair beside the open window and I listen to her babble on about, how she was planning to prepare a delicious meal for me, if only I had called before coming.
I smiled again and then I look out the window and smile again. She senses something is wrong. So I picked up my phone from the table which was close to the bed, in my one-room apartment.
And then I slowly, make my way to the door, she keeps asking what the matter is. So I took her in the eyes and I tell her," turn off the lights, next time you cheat". I shut the door behind me and I make my way back downstairs.
On my way out, I see, the man sleeping with my wife downstairs, standing with just his white shirt, boxers, and socks.
I congratulate him on his success and I made my way to his vehicle. a black convertable BMW. He dashed at me with a folded fist when he sees his key in my hands but before he could reach me I pressed play on my phone. What he heard stopped his motion. The perfect sextape.
So, I laugh and I tell him in a gentle, calm, and victorious manner, next time, try not to bang a detectives wife.
I then get into the car and zoom off as happy as ever, knowing that I had solved the perfect crime.