It's almost here.
Not yet. But it's coming. Does the passage of time mean much to you, or do you pretend you don't see it? Out the corner of your eye, the lines crowding discreetly at the edges? The tightness in your skin when you smile at something attractive and young as it fleets past you in the street? Do you pretend you don't notice it, and that you don't feel a little older than you did last December? Do you?
Has this year gone past you in vain, and are you looking forward to 2025?
What to?
Presuming the world doesn't explode. Or implode. Or in some other way cave in on us. Have you made plans for your future, and do you think you can accomplish them before they become the past? Are you content with what has been?
Me, I think I'd like to go to Mass. It's an obscene thought. I've never liked Mass. I prefer churches when they're quiet. Deserted. When you can pray and not feel like you're posing. Surprised? Not more than I. Will God be mad at me for asking Him for something I didn't really want, or does He understand? Does He get confused, too, sometimes?
But I would like to hear Mass in Notre Dame. Maybe. I was sorry it burned down. I've been waiting for it to open again with more interest than I would've guessed in these old, faithless bones of mine. It feels a bastion of something. Old Europe, perhaps. Beauty. Writing on the banks fo the Seine at 20.
A past life, meeting a future hope, and it's 2025 almost, but not yet. Not quite. What else.
I just read somewhere they're opening a new Mucha museum in Prague in January, and I want to go there. I want to see it and all the other little hallways and museums and alleys and stationery and gift shops dedicated to that great, beautiful man.
Do you get sad at time passing? Me too, but not ever more than I can bear. The truth is, I love it just a little too much, and if I'm being quite frank, I never expected to be here long enough to stop being excited about it. Guess we'll see. I don't expect to get sad, either, not tonight.
I know people who complain at the passage of time, and I say yes, it feels so very fast. But that's kind of like getting on the montagne russe and then coming off it at the end, saying
That went a bit fast.
Didn't it? And weren't you expecting it? Did no one ever tell you? No, I suppose they wouldn't. Not in utero. Would you have chosen different, if they'd warned you from before you got here how much aching there'd be, how quickly the time would go by? If they'd told you of all the things you'd miss that you didn't even know meant anything in the first place? Would you have gone a different way? Would you not have come here at all?
And are you sorry it's going by so very fast, and do you think you could've chosen different? Better? Because different's a given. But better? Are you happy with how your life's turning out? Do you feel 2024 was the best it could be as long as it was life, and as long as it had pain inscribed from the onset?
Do you think 2025 is going to be any better, and what are your plans for making it so?
Are you excited? I know I am.
Everyone I know is making plans for New Year's Eve, mostly so they can mitigate their disappointment at 2024 going by so fast and not being what they'd hoped for, at all. Also, downplay the fear that 2025 isn't gonna go their way either, so they can keep complaining life's passing them by. Except that's wrong, and it doesn't.
As long as you strive, really give-it-your-all, outrun-your-fears strive to do the best you can, to improve yourself - to do good where and to as many people as you can - then it might just turn out to be enough. This life.
As for me, I'm really excited how it's unfolding so far. My one life. The privilege of being invited to the ball.
I don't take it for granted. So no, it doesn't feel like it's going by too fast at all.
Before I forget, I wanted to tell you about some music I'm listening to this rear-end of 2024.
Some flowers never get to bloom and see the day
Some flowers are content to wish their lives away
Which is exactly how I feel about people. And about time passing. Do you see the day or waste your life wishing it away? And do you even know the answer, or do you pretend to yourself it's something different?
Now the boat is slowly leaving, leaving the life I loved
I see you standing at the pier, trying to hide your fear
Thank you for the memories, thank you for the laughs
I'm going away, this time,
Remember... no tears
It's criminal to me that people seem to remember Iggy Pop for his wild years but now you hear fairly little of him. I love this song. This Apres song. This almost at large song. It seems appropriate at end of year, as well as end of life. No tears.
Did you see The Zutons made a cover of Back to Black? How cool is that? What a fun little nod, when Amy's cover of their song Valerie meant such a great deal for her career. I love Valerie. Both versions. The man who is Valerie. And Dave McCabe. And life. So much life.
(Hola, @ablaze. Thanks for making this nice challenge. also, bonus song:)
Forgive me, I know no other way
If I knew my place
I wouldn’t throw myself like this
I wish I knew another way. Sometimes. When it's very late, and I don't need my lostness for the day anymore. Like now. But really, I wouldn't have it any other way.
