I have had trouble getting sleep since I was a teenager. Most days I sleep better but there are days when I cannot get any sleep and today is such a day where I am wide awake and I have an early meeting.
Whenever I have a big meeting or an event where I have to speak on a stage I get anxious and keep thinking about what could go wrong.
To be honest the worst that I can happen is that I might freeze and my brain could go blank. It has happened several times in the past and that is why I always keep a piece of paper with a few points that I have to say.
Some of you might think that I have stage fright and some might think that I do not have any experience speaking on a stage but honestly, I have been on hundreds of stages, spoken to more than 100,000 people since 2018 and I keep meeting at least 5-10 new people regularly.
This is me interacting with around 250 people. Do I look anxious or like I have stage fright? lol, no. I was perfectly fine on stage.
Even with all the experience, the anxiety does not go and the night before my events is the worst. I do not feel any kind of fear when I am on the stage but the night before I get all nervous, anxious.
What I usually do is eat and try to go to sleep but it does not help all the time.
It did not help today. I tried to go to sleep a few times and then I gave up. I know this anxiety is not going to go away so I watched a movie, a few episodes of a tv series, hear some songs, and meditated for a while as I wait for time to pass and I have to get ready for the early morning meeting.
It is 5 AM and I think it is the right time for me to start preparing for the day ahead and get something to eat. I am famished.