Background:
Just recently, I realized that I'd accumulated a sizeable amount of a platform's tokens and decided to withdraw some of them.
The withdrawal process reminded me just how many barriers and roadblocks still exist that plague every current crypto head and prevents others from entering the space; ultimately hampering mass adoption and growth.
I was thankful that the tokens were not just shitcoins; that is, worthless tokens with no use case, not listed anywhere for trade; only valued by founding scammer rug pullers and their soon-to-be bag-holding, brainwashed cult zealots.
But unfortunately, my tokens were only listed on one obscure exchange.
After jumping through many ridiculous hoops, grudgingly satisfying minimums and staying below maximums, plus paying fees to everyone and his mother whenever the token was moved, traded or exchanged, I finally ended up with the crypto I wanted and in the location I wanted (my non-exchange, non-custodial wallet).
So as a sarcastic commentary, I submit to you, in bullet format, "How to run a shady, fly-by-night platform or exchange for fun and profit"
Never list a new token without some form of legal, or at least "gray area" extortion.
Impose restrictive minimum and maximum regulations that keeps more crypto on the exchange longer or discourages withdrawals altogether .
Exercising your "Executive Privileges", halt withdrawals or token-specific transactions and disable normal logins at will and for whatever reason you happen to think of.
Create trading pairs that require multiple trades, conversions or token-to-token exchanges to finally end up with BTC, ETH, USDT or USDC.
Make fees so high that customers will opt to buy your platform's token just for the fee "discounts" they represent.
Knowing that most will never realize that ALL tokens are only worth the value others place upon it and that predicting the future is impossible, blatantly advertise stratospheric APR for staking your platform tokens.
Require strict KYC from citizens of any wealthy nation, whales and those desiring to make trades with amounts worth over 1 or 2 BTC.
I'm sure I left out many other common "House Tricks".
But suffice it to say, my 80+ mother ain't bothering with the crypto/DeFi space anytime soon...
[Submitted for your amusement.]
May you and yours be well and loving life today.
In Lak'ech, JaiChai
