October 8, 2023
It's been a while since I last wrote a blog due to busyness at my father's funeral. In Filipino Catholic custom, the wake usually takes 9 days, and the 10th day is the interment of the late beloved. But since we had to wait for my older brother to arrive so we would be complete, the interment day was held on the 11th day, which was on the 2nd of October. I never thought my father's funeral would be more exhausting than my job. Sleepless nights and stressful days, including the toxic inflation rate. Although it was all done, we entered another phase of busy days, which is the processing of all military-related pensions, claims, benefits, and insurance. It's so exhausting and expensive, and we aren't done yet.
Anyhow, since my father was a veteran and a retired Philippine Army officer who defended the country back in the day, he was given a military funeral honor, which they called Honoring Those Who Served with the help of his co-retirees and friends.
The busiest night was the one before the burial. We were told that some retired and enlisted troops would be present at the vigil. As a result, we, the grieving family, prepared food for them as well as other wakers and guests. It was the first time I had ever seen our home crowded with people, both inside and outside, military and civilians. Two enlisted troops were stationed on either side of my father's coffin, and after a while, others would take over. The remainder were stationed outside the home on guard. We were guarded, as if we were VIPs. The vigil went on into the following day.
On the 2nd of this month was the interment of my father's cold body. It was the last day we would see his body, and soon his soul would leave the earth. It was the toughest day in our life and a lot of emotions were expressed. Our eldest brother took the initiative to express our thoughts and forgiveness toward our father in front of his coffin before the funeral procession. As he stated, that moment would be our last chance to say whatever we wanted to say to him. The house was then filled with emotions and tears.
At nine in the morning, we started the procession from our house to the church for the funeral mass. This is another part of Filipino funeral customs. I, on the other hand, stayed beside my mother inside the funeral car. We were both emotional, but I was more worried about her. She looked unprepared to be alone. As if she couldn't live without our father.
We reached the church at ten in the morning and waited for the priest to come for an hour. The schedule was supposed to be twelve, but we arrived too early. We rather wait for the priest, than let him wait for us.
The people in the photo below are retired armies and my father's friends. They were those who initiated the military funeral honor with the help of my uncle (my mother's sister's husband), who is also a retired army. The priest arrived at eleven, and the ceremony started. At this point, I realized that my father wasn't bad, because he actually had a lot of friends.
We've been too emotional throughout the funeral mass. Not just our family, but also the attendees. Although many in our place hated him because he was strict and somewhat arrogant at some point, many remembered him when he passed away. That's what matters most.
Before the mass ended, one retired army officer and my oldest brother spoke and gave their last messages. I was moved by them, and my tears kept flowing uncontrollably. I was asked by my brother if I would do the honor to speak in front, but I declined as I thought I couldn't bear to speak publicly, even in front of my father's funeral. Besides, I can't talk well when I'm too emotional. But in my mind, I had so much to say that I just spoke out silently.
At the end of the mass was the picture-taking. The people below are the Philippine Army officers who did the last vigil and veterans who initiated the military funeral honor.
Last was our family. I never imagined that our father's death would be the way to reunite us again for years. We had a lot of chances back when he was still alive, but we lost them. I just hoped he was happy to see us complete. For sure, he was. It would be a relief because I felt guilty at that time. I know he'll understand my situation. He, himself, doesn't want to see me suffering because of his shortcomings.
Our family, sis and bro-in-laws, and niblings, including my father's favorite pet DuterteAfter the mass, we proceeded to the cemetery, where he was laid to rest. It wasn't our choice, to be honest, because my father's wish was to be buried at his farm. As he said, we don't need to buy land for his grave anymore. He knew that his end would come soon. But he was too selfish to share it with us earlier, so he was treated too late. However, due to the difficulty of getting the permit, we had no choice but to choose the public cemetery near our place.
Next was the draping and turnover of the Philippine flag to the next of kin, my mother, along ith the playing of taps performed by a military bugler. During this part, a lot of realizations came to mind, and I felt proud of my father. He may not be perfect; he was strict, and many hated him before because of his negative character, including us, but we can't deny the fact that, despite all his flaws, he was a good man and defended the country back in the day. Most of all, he never left his family. And I wouldn't achieve whatever I have if not because of him.
After the turnover of the flag, the volley shots were performed by the military firing team. This was made as a salute to the veteran. As this was our first time witnessing such an act, we were startled, especially my young nephew.
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After the ceremony, we, his children, had a chance to hold his hand for the last time. We bless his hand, which is a Filipino gesture to show respect toward parents, grandparents, and other people older than us. For the first time, I touched a dead body. But I wasn't scared because it was my father's. As if he was alive. I wished he was.
The last day was also the funeral custom they called pa rosaryo or praying rosary for the soul. With this, we had a gathering at home. This includes the military group and all the people who attended the burial. For the first time, we hired a catering service to serve all the visitors. We even laughed at it since my father doesn't like such expensive services, but it happened at his funeral. We had no choice because we were too busy.
He was finally laid to rest, and we finally heaved a big sigh of relief. The moving on stage had just begun, and it was still hard for us to accept the fact that he was gone, and we could no longer see him. But our memories with him remain in our minds and hearts forever.
(All photos are mine)
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