Good' morning @sludlung, recovery is a long road with many pitfalls.
Depression is not something you can just "get over".
In 2003 after having been through many court imposed rehabs, and finally one I chose to put myself in, I had relapsed once again.
I saw a commercial on TV for Zoloft (antidepressant)
"Do you have racing thoughts? Do you find it hard to shut your mind off at night so you can sleep? Do your thoughts go round and round in circles?"
I said

My God! They are talking about ME!!!

So I contacted the VA (medical provider) and was diagnosed as major Clinical Depressive disorder.
I was on Antidepressants for many years, and I give full credit that had I not done that, I'd be dead now. Without that helping to redress the imbalance in my brain, I'd never had been able to address the imbalance in my life and stop the addictive cycle.
Didn't happen over night neither, and although I am no longer taking any sort of anti depressants nor any recreational drugs, I am on a lot of meds because of all those years of unhealthy living and reckless behavior my body is trashed.
But I am alive, I have my own home, I have a steady income and I have a career that should I wish to pick back up and ♫♪PLAY♫♪ again, I could be making $money$ at it again (and I just may do that in the next 6 months or so)
Do not give up the forward motion you are on, stay true and strong.
There is light at the end of the tunnel, and it is WONDERFUL