When I was asked what the three most used apps on my phone were, I said, “My book app, my book downloading app and my dictionary.” And then they gave me strange faces, so I continued. “I open my dictionary more than ten times a day.” And they asked why, so, I told them this.
“I want to speak and not be afraid that I misused a word. I want to write and words that I’ve no thought about in forever come to me because they have been ingrained in my subconscious. I want to have that confidence that having a vast vocabulary brings you. I never want to be ignorant. I always want to know and be in the know of things. And that’s what my books and my dictionary gives me.”
And they looked on at me with a look on their face that was akin to awe. And then, I said, “That too.” Smiling, I gave a little point and said. “I want to be able to see that look you have on your face right now when I speak to people and when they read my works.”
And I was happy, skipping to school and to the little store where I walked part time and to Church, because I knew there was no average word. Or maybe even advanced word, that they would say, and I wouldn’t know. But then one day in class, we were paired up to talk about our partners and describe them in one type of word. And my partner said to me.
“If I wanted to describe Louisa, I think I’d have many words for it. But she’d know them already, so I took it from different angles.”
I was intrigued. I wanted to know what he would say. English class was my favourite class and when Miss Stella paired me and my biggest rival, I didn’t know what to think. But I knew I would crush him with my essay. I always did. So, I waited for him to speak, and willed my heart not to skip a beat.
“If I wanted to describe Louisa in a psychological way, I’d say she was hyperaesthetic. But then she may know what that means, so I decided to switch to something else.” I think I winced a bit. I didn’t know that word. What did it mean? Hyper? Aesthetic? Joined together and maybe it meant I was drawn to beautiful things on an insane level? It felt right but I knew in my core that it wasn’t.
I tuned back to listen to my rival speak again. “If I wanted to describe Louisa, in the the literary way, I'd say she’s pathos driven. But she may know what that means, and we wouldn’t want her smiling thinking it was something good.” I began to sweat a bit at my brows. I looked at Miss Stella and she wasn’t looking at me at all. She seemed enamoured by his words. What was this boy getting at and why did he use words that I knew individually but not together? And why was no one stopping him?
My rival was apparently not done with me, and so he continued. “But then I caught wind of the fact that she wants to be nurse and so maybe, she might just know this one. Because if I wanted to describe Louisa in a clinical way, I’d say she was hyperthymestic. And maybe a large reason she cannot let anyone in is because of this. I’d say she that she was too afraid to let go, so she destroys everything around her. I’d say that she was so scared of the future, she continually hurts her present.”
At this point, there were tears pooling in my eyes, and my rival took a deep breath, as he delivered the final dagger to my psyche that was already shattered to smithereens. “But if you ask me, in my way, I’d simply describe Louisa... as vulnerable.”
I didn’t know how I ran away that fast from the class. I didn’t know how long I ran but I eventually found myself at the library, which was the best place in the entire world after my room. And quick as sound, I pulled the Oxford dictionary and looked at all the words I’d heard my rival say today. And then, I began to wonder and wonder.
What I See
I see a girl in uniform perusing the dictionary with what seems to be like focus and a bit of concern.
What I Feel
I feel a certain degree of calmness and turbulence all at once.
Jhymi🖤
My entry to the Freewrite House's A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words.
Image Source.
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