Man cannot live in isolation; we all need one another to survive, either as people that complement or as those that antagonize our very existence. I came to this world naked, just like everyone else, and the same fate exists for everyone beyond this life.
We are drawn apart and also together by wants and needs, limited and unlimited resources, among others. Can we just close our eyes and hearts to the yearnings of people around us? That will be difficult since we are bound by bonds such as friendships and blood. Thus, I found myself responding to the various needs and wants of people around me—a few I could barely decline. Who says it is bad to be one's brother's keeper? Not at all; however, some facts are vital.
- problems existed before we were born and would exist even when we were gone.
- we didn't create the problems; we can't solve all of life's demands.
- recognize when to say no and yes, sometimes even to people who are closest to us.
Have you had some funds and wondered how quickly they got exhausted, sometimes hardly having a tangible report on what the funds were spent on? We work tirelessly and end up spending our earnings in hours and, if lucky, days. An example is the salary paid to workers, which is a month's pay but barely remains after 72 hours. I have had occasions where my salary was paid for a month, and I got exhausted even before entering the following month. How then did I survive? Probably on loans, further plundering the struggling soul into worsening abject poverty. Do you remember those questions I asked earlier about problems and the need to sort things out that may or may not be directly related to us?
We have become accustomed to maladjustments to unfavorable conditions and are constantly drained, both mentally and physically, probably stemming from lack or inadequacy. So, I have lived most of my life pleasing people around me, even at my inconveniences. Sometimes, I marvel at how far I have gone in order to please or be a solution for another person. That's a kind heart, and it is applaudable. However, how much of that lifestyle negatively affects the individual. I was the superhero to many people other than myself, and soon enough, I developed health challenges as a result of stress and imbalance. I became a shadow of myself, jumping from one loan app to another, piling up debts that oftentimes did not emanate from my personal needs. What did I do?
TAKE A PAUSE AT LIFE
Yes, there are occasions in life when things go on around us and we wonder where the problem lies. This was the point I was at a few years ago, and what I did was to make a pause in life. I realized I was moving as fast as the storm was in my life, probably pursuing life to have a meaningful and logical end. But no, I needed that pause, for I was only seeing the storm and not myself. I was a victim and not a victor—the shadow of a giant! The pause in life made me re-evaluate and most importantly, identify what cankerworms constantly lashed and consumed my growth and progress. You will agree with me that solutions come faster when problems are identified. Perhaps this was what I needed as a course 101 in problem solving: IDENTIFICATION!
YOU CAN'T GIVE WHAT YOU DON'T HAVE
I realized people often came to me for comfort and help. Unfortunately, as a medic in Nigeria, it is believed you are rich. If doctors were rich, I'm sure a significant number of us would not exit the country I'm drones as experienced in recent times. How would I tell people that I also needed help? Would they believe me? The demands kept coming at me from different angles, making me wonder if they all conspired against me to empty me. People wanted help from me—the same help that I needed! True, there's a degree of want, but can you give what you don't have? Can you give peace and solace when your mind is constantly troubled with thoughts and needs? Thus, the pause helped me to look upon myself as though I were in a mirror, to identify my inner blocks, and to build a fresh one that I had lost. I needed to find bearing and happiness first within myself!
DON'T BE IN A HASTE
I used to jump at problem solving, which was bad. I have realized I should take a pause and evaluate the problem before stepping in. A few factors influence my stepping into problems.
- does the problem involve me directly or indirectly?
- how close is the person with the problem to me?
- what is the magnitude of the problem? Life threatening?
- how much intervention can I support?
Considering the above, it has been easier for me to say no where I should and also to intervene where I could. I am no longer being talked about as a superhero or problem solver; I'd rather just pick a percentage of the problem and help out. Is self-care selfish? No! It's what is needed for growth and progress.
LIVE HEALTHY
The wish of the sick is to get well, as good health is vital for productivity. I'm one of the few doctors that goes for medical checkups and, recently, prioritizes oneself. We live in times when we unconsciously starve ourselves, probably as a result of a troubling and unfavorable economy. So, I devoted a huge sum of money to buying nonperishable food items in bulk. Soon after that, prices of food items shot up in Nigeria, and what I once considered painful came back to me as a blessing for having made those bulk purchases. As a side note, I don't compromise on my meals, especially breakfast.
With a settled and clear mind, my quality of life and service to humanity have significantly improved. Less headaches and troubling thoughts, more finances to spare for personal projects and worthwhile needs, and a clearer vision about my life's goals and ambitions.
Here's my entry to #inleo monthly and daily prompts. To participate, click PROMPT
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Thank you for reading. I would love to have your comments and contributions.
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