Life is a journey of connections and goodbyes. A journey of sweet connections, bitter goodbyes, and everything in between. We meet nice, sweet and incredible people, share unforgettable memories with them, and cherish every smile, every laugh, and bittersweet moments we share together. They become a part of our lives. But, life has an interesting way of pulling its strings. Life has an interesting way of reminding us who the boss is. Sometimes, the people we love disappear, either “magically” or naturally from our lives, and there is no other person to blame but life itself. There are countless reasons why people leave our lives. Some may move away to another country- to start a new life, while others may simply drift apart and fall off without any valid reasons.
Out of all the goodbyes, the most painful goodbyes are those that leave without saying anything. Those that leave our questions unanswered, making us wonder if they plan to come back or not. It can be really painful when someone we have shared sweet memories with, disappears without giving answers. We stand still on our toes, wondering if we did something wrong. Asking ourselves if all that we shared was fake.
All my life, I have been in a constant war with life when it comes to people leaving. This has always been happening right from my elementary school days. There were many friends with whom I was close to during high school; we were close to the extent that we thought we would “do life” forever. Sadly, here we are today, I don’t even know their whereabouts. After I graduated from secondary school, I started a 9-month program where I formed friendships with new people. Like others, they left. As I mentioned, several times, I have been in a situation where people suddenly leave. At one point, I thought I had gotten used to it. However, when it happens again, it opens a fresh wound. The pain and hurt are always different.
Goodbyes are painful, but the most painful ones are those that leave with unanswered questions. A few times, people have disappeared from my life with no explanation, but the one that leaves rent-free in my head happened when I was in elementary school.
During my elementary school years, I was a very calm and quiet kid- a stark contrast to my brother. I didn’t have many friends. Just a few classmates with whom I played football with. I had just one close friend- Ibrahim. My memory of that time is a bit hazy, and I don’t really remember how we became friends. But one thing that is clear is that he was my seat partner. Ibrahim’s school uniform was always neat and well ironed, and his haircut always looked sharp on him. We stood up for each other every time. Every day after school, we’d walk together to the gate. Outside our school, there was a tree where we’d sit and play until my mom came to pick me up. He’d always wait everyday until my mom arrived to pick me up and that was when he’d leave. I never knew his house. But I'd always see him cross the road and walk into a corner. My mom also liked him. Sometimes when she came to pick me up, she’d buy snacks for the both of us.
He was my seat partner for more than 2 years. He was more than just a seat partner. He was my good friend. We went on a very long break and when we returned to school for our final year of elementary school, he disappeared. Usually, Ibrahim was always one of the few people to resume. I was surprised when I didn’t see him in school for the first week. I had hoped that he’d resume the next week when serious academic work would start. Lo and behold, he didn’t. Days turned into weeks. Weeks into months and months into years. We didn’t have cell phones back then, which made it very difficult to reach out to him.
When I finally got a phone and opened a Facebook account, I tried to find him, but I didn’t know his surname, only his first name, Ibrahim. There were countless people with that name on Facebook, so I eventually gave up.
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