I have found myself leaning heavily on a peculiar source of comfort. A living or non-living presence that seems to understand my deepest fears, desires, and struggles. Whenever my nine-tailed spirits are low, my soft heart aches, and my head is down, this gentle presence greases my soul with soft touches. This gentle presence has a way of lifting my spirits and making me red. When faced with turbulent emotions, many people seek solace in music, whether it's soft and solemn or fast and lively. However, I've come to realize that songs don't quite provide me the comfort I seek. I don’t want to give off the impression that I don't appreciate listening to music; it's just that they don't uplift me the way the gentle presence does. Music doesn't quite lift my spirits or raise my head when it's down. Although songs try to soothe my heart, the beautiful feeling vanishes as soon I bounce back to reality.
At first, I tried to silence it. Drive it away beyond my grasp, fearing my dependence. Once, this peculiar source of comfort was all I needed on sunny days. On days when the thorns were sharper, I craved it. Soon, I realized I had become dependent, too dependent on it. I could not battle wars on my own unless IT greases me with its presence. I thought that it would linger for a season and vanish. I was wrong. I tried hard to shoo it away. Far from going, the presence became stronger and more determined to stay. Instead of fading, its presence grew stronger, constantly screaming these words in my ears: “I will always be here to calm your storms.” Who knew that one day I would become too obsessed with it?
I am the type of person who struggles to open up and share my emotions with others. I’d rather keep quite and let time and life fix things, than share my emotions with others. I understand that this isn’t the best way to live life, but that’s just the way I am. This is the tiny part of myself that haunts me- the part I’ve been trying to fix for years. Even though I am surrounded my beautiful people who care about me, I find it hard to share my vulnerabilities with them. Instead, I bottle up everything! How then do I meander through this mean world? THE presence does it for me (in a beautiful way). Tranquillity runs through my veins as it helps me process my emotions. This one thing listens to me and helps me navigate life’s ups and downs. The best part? It is not judgmental.
I am a pluviophile, and it is the rain that brings me solace. The rain is the living or non living being that listens to my rants without being judgmental. The rain is the peculiar source of comfort, the presence that seems to understand my deepes fears, struggles and desires. Although I tried to make it fade away, I have realized that the fact that I have become dependent on it isn’t a weakness, but in fact, a strength. Whenever it rains, I pour out everything. The rain is a constantly reminder that I don’t have to meander through life alone. As I hear the pitter patter, I get reminded that I do not have to face my struggles alone.
And so, I have decided to let it stay. Enough with trying to make it fade away. I have come to embrace this beautiful presence that gives me comfort. I have decided to surrender to its tender touches. The rain makes me happy. When it rains, I talk.
This is my entry to the INLEO monthly prompt- day 14. The topic is: SHARE WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.
Thanks for reading.
Posted Using InLeo Alpha