I had this particular friend I met in my third year at the university. Funny enough, I had actually known him since my second year, but we never really had any real conversations or got close. The only time we ever talked was when we played football together, and even that was just casual talk—nothing deep. But in our third year, circumstances changed, and we ended up staying in the same room. That was when we really got to know each other and became good friends.
Now, this guy was rich—like, very rich. In fact, he was the richest among all of us in the room. He never had to worry about money, and you could tell from the way he carried himself. While some of us were always budgeting every little expense, this guy was out there spending money freely, buying expensive things without thinking twice. At the time, I was really broke, and sometimes, I had no choice but to meet him for help. To be fair, he did help sometimes, but it always came with a catch.
Some of the times when he helped, he would find a way to rub it in our faces. It wasn’t always direct, but he would say things like, "Am I the one who said your parents should not have money?" or "If you had worked harder, you wouldn’t be in this situation." At first, I just brushed it off because, well, I needed the help. But over time, it started to get really annoying. I mean, why help someone if you’re just going to use it as a way to put them down?
It got worse when one of my roommates asked him for a loan, promising to pay back. Instead of just keeping it between them, this guy went ahead and told his babe about it. Now, the issue wasn’t even that he told someone—it was who he told. His girlfriend wasn’t exactly the type to keep things to herself, so there was a high chance that she had already told her friends, and from there, the whole thing could easily spread. That was when we started giving him some distance.
We noticed that he would tell his babe everything that happened in the room. Nothing was private with him. If someone had a problem or was struggling, he would go and gist her about it like it was some kind of entertainment. That wasn’t cool at all. Imagine being vulnerable enough to ask for help, only to find out that your story is now a topic of discussion among girls you don’t even talk to.
Then, because of this same girl, he started acting differently towards us. It was like he didn’t even want to associate with us anymore. He barely walked with us on campus, and when he did see us, he would drop some subtle insults here and there. One time, I ran into him, and he said something like, "You sef don dey guide oo," which, in context, felt more like a mockery than a compliment.
At some point, I started seeing him for what he really was—someone who didn’t actually want his friends to progress. It was like he enjoyed the idea of us always needing him. He never outright said it, but you could tell from the way he behaved. He wanted to be the one people ran to for help, but he didn’t want those same people to actually grow and make money for themselves. If someone found a way to improve their situation, he would downplay it or act uninterested.
That was when I knew it was time to move on. There’s no point keeping a friendship where you always feel looked down on or where someone constantly reminds you of your struggles instead of genuinely supporting you. I don’t hold any grudges, but I’ve definitely learned my lesson. Not everyone who helps you actually wants to see you win. Some people just enjoy having others depend on them.
Thanks for reading.