The day was bright and warm, all the mud had dried up after the previous flood almost two months ago. I decided it’s time to repair the road after the previous flood, as it needed some extra layer of stony red earth to harden up the surface. My neighbours had already repaired their sections of the dirt road so that vehicles could travel smoothly on firmly leveled road. The thick and sticky mud had made the road impassable for two weeks. That’s why all my neighbours had to reinforce the surface of the dirt road.
At first I hoped that I didn’t have to follow my neighbours’ examples. But my gardener had reported that motor bikes and bicycles wouldn’t be able to travel on the bumpy road. There were big lumps of harden mud along the dirt road. When the rainy season came, this road would become slippery and dangerous for all vehicles. So, I had to embark on a small project which would cost me quite a big sum of money. Fortunately I found some emergency money which I had hidden a few years ago. This came as a relief so that I didn’t have to sell some of my crypto during bear market.
My gardener contacted local construction firm whose owners were local villagers. They had just finished two big jobs at my neighbours’ houses almost two weeks ago. We needed about four truck loads of red earth to reinforce the surface of the road and to make the middle section a bit higher for irrigation purposes. So, rainwater would quickly drained off to the lower ends of the road. The reinforcement took place for the section in front of the house till the end of the wall. The rest of the dirt road had a good sweep to get rid of piles of mud and to level the surface of the road.
I had quite an interesting time watching all the activities of those trucks delivering the red earth and the backhoe. The prices of each load had gone up by 20% since the beginning of the year due to the high prices of petrol. I did notice that the quality of the red earth wasn’t as good as it used to be. There seemed to be more loose soil mixed within the load. The owner of trucks told me that it’s getting more difficult to source good quality red earth. He had to travel much further away from this area in search of good sources of red earth. The further away the location of red earth pits, the higher the price for transportation.
The most interesting bit was to watch how the backhoe driver could control truck very smoothly. I became quite attracted to the idea of learning to drive this truck so that I could find a part time job in this area. My gardener thought I was joking. But there would be nobody willing to teach me. It took two afternoons for the job to be completed properly as I asked for an extra truck load to make the road higher in front of the house. So, flood water wouldn’t reach the front yard too easily. This would give us extra time to save the automatic door controlling box. During the previous flood, my neighbours had to let their automatic door machine submerged in the flood.
I could feel that this drastic action was a kind of milestone in another phase of my life. Though I was reluctant to spend emergency money, yet something inside told me to get on with the project. This was somehow necessary as a foundation of what would be happening in the future. Very often in my life, I would be ‘told’ or ‘moved’ to make decisions or take actions which were peculiar to my nature. But I had to listen to the inner voice which guided me throughout my life. It always turned out that my decisions were important to ensure a smooth transition in the future. Just like my forgotten emergency money which I had put away several years ago. Something told me to put them aside in a box do I could find it one day. The subconscious or the inner ‘self’ knew I would need this money urgently one day.
Over the years I have been trying to communicate with my other ‘self’ or the ‘wise one’ who seemed to have unlimited knowledge of life in the past and future. I used to read lots of books by C. G. Jung who wrote about anima and animus aspect of our psyche. These seemingly divided ‘characters’ of oneself could be manifested in dreams as a child, young woman, old man or woman. The goal was to get all these characters into good relationships with each other so that they all could work together to support the ‘me’ consciousness to evolve to a higher stage with harmony.
I used to be able to see these different aspects of my psyche in these representations in my dream. The wise old man used to give me good advices while the young woman was quite stern like a school headmistress. There’s still a lot of unanswered questions in my mind. Later I found that meditation was a quicker way to resolve inner conflicts of different aspects of my psyche. But I had to start meditating regularly again soon. The unconscious self tried to communicate with the conscious side during sleep. But the ego and rational side of the mind tended to dominate even during sleep. I still had to find a gentle way to get the two sides to listen to each other amicably.
This has been an arduous process of growing up spiritually and emotionally at the same time. I had to remind myself to thank my inner voice for being very kind and protective towards me. I often could tell whether someone was a fraud or a dangerous person as my inner voice would give me warnings. Sometimes I could even ‘hear’ of people taking or planning about me so I could prepare myself beforehand. I could even hear people’s thoughts so that I could surprise them with my answers before they could question me. But it was rather instructuted and haphazard. I needed to learn to have a systematic way of communicating with my subconscious. Perhaps it was meant to be this way as I could begin to exploit this ideal stage too often. It would be harmful to know the future too much and to overhear others’ gossips about me could be too distracting and wasteful for my attention.
However, I was quite glad the dirt road was much safer for bicycles and motorbikes. I would later visit my neighbours to see how much improvement they had made after the previous flood. Life’s a learning process for me even when I finished all my formal education years ago. Schools and colleges weren’t at all helpful in getting me to know myself better or to be able to navigate my spiritual journey. I had to travel the inner journey by myself so that I could repair myself like I did repair the dirt road for safety and security.
Wishing you peace, good health and prosperity.
Stay strong and cheerful.