Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and I see that I am not the same, my whole life has changed from my emotional state to my body; it is inevitable not to cry when you feel that you can no longer cope with this new life you are leading, although it passes in seconds when I see how helpless the children are and how perfect they can be, the truth is that being a single mother in another country has been the hardest thing in my life.
Even though having my son was the most wonderful thing that has happened to me, I am not going to lie to you, I want to run away and not come back, it is hard not being able to rest at night even though at 21 months my son drinks breast milk and stops every hour looking for the breast, that means that I do not sleep well at all, in fact I do not remember when I have slept 3 hours at a time since I have been a mom. I have not had the sweet motherhood that my family talked about because they were not completely in charge of the baby and if they wanted to rest they could leave him with someone else, but I can't do it, I have to endure as much as I can.
Although there are people who admire me, I have my sister-in-law who tells me the opposite, the truth is that they do not see all the effort I make since I get up until I go to bed; she also compares him with other children which makes me very angry, because not all children are the same, first it was that he did not walk when he was 10 months old (I walked when he turned one year old) now it is because he does not speak if the children at the age Jetter has already speak, I feel that each child has a different development, no one is the same.
On the other hand we must keep in mind that the daily life of any mother is hard, we can only take a deep breath and move forward, our children will always need us so we have to give them all the love we can even if we have had a bad day, breathe and continue.
In conclusion, having a son is the best thing that has happened to me in this life, he is a great companion plus he is the sweetest thing in the world, however it does not mean that I am not tired and want to have a space for myself, sadly I can not have that space, since I have no one to stay with him while I take a day, because of that I am left thinking that this little boy only has me to guide him and take care of him.
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