Mama had five children, three were boys. But there was Kene and Chibuzor (not real names). Like fire and gasoline, they were the cats and dogs of the house. There isn't a day that passes by without them trying to tear each other apart and trust me; it was over frivolous things like using each other's favourite plate without asking. But I must warn you, they share these strange bonds. Don't try to separate them or make peace amongst them. If not, they'll turn around and make you their victim.
The way they fight is the way they make up in a slight second and the way they laugh too. I used to wonder how they do it, like being at each other's throats one minute and soothing each other's heart the next.
I could recall one hot Christmas afternoon, everyone had come back home from their various states. The house was full, and trust me when I say there was never a dull moment at home, especially when it was Christmas.
It was one of those Christmas afternoons where the sun baked the earth. Luckily, there was light. Mama was in the kitchen cooking up a storm and Papa was trying to catch some sleep in his room. They ladies had gone out to visit friends. But my brothers and I were all nestled in the sitting room, enjoying the new air conditioner Papa had just gotten while watching TV.
The whole house smelled of chicken stew and spices Mama was preparing. The kind that makes you lose control of what you are doing, your stomach growls with hunger even if you're not hungry, and you keep sniffing in the sweet aroma emanating from the kitchen.
Suddenly, Mama barged into the sitting room with rage in her eyes and a pan of fried chicken in one hand. She had this look of exhaustion and frustration on her face
"Who took meat from here?" She yelled, her voice breaking up the silence in the sitting room.
We all looked at each other but nobody talked. We all had confusion written on our faces
"When I went outside to answer our neighbour, who sneaked in and took two pieces of meat here" she continued showing the pan which clearly had proof that a piece was carefully taken out from a particular spot.
I looked around and when no one was talking again, I replied
"But Mama, how did you know someone took from the meat? Maybe that space isn't from how you packed it."
She gave me a mean look. "I counted it also, and now two are missing". She turned to Kene and Chibuzor, "Kene, Chibuzor, who took meat from here?" She asked.
Immediately, I chuckled. For Mama to ask them personally I knew they were the culprit.
"It was Kene," Chibuzor blurted out. As usual, he was always the first to reveal when put in a tight spot.
I relaxed on the couch and smiled. Ready for the drama that was about to happen. I knew them like the back of my hand.
"Ahh, but you took one too," Kene cried, defending himself.
Mama put her hands on her waist and together we watched as the two michiefs at home battled each other on who took the meat and the biggest portion at that.
What started as a mere squabble soon escalated to a full-blown name-calling.
"I was waiting for this," I muttered.
Mama heard me as she gave me a dead look. "Can't you see my hand is full? Won't you stop them?" She yelled at me.
Reluctantly, I stood up and tried to intervene as Mama kept yelling at them to stop fighting. But instead, they lashed out at me together.
"Stay out of this!" they warned me as I tried to intervene. I quickly retreated and sat back down on the couch while they continued throwing curses at each other.
From experience, it's usually easier to watch them from afar while they fight than intervene.
Suddenly, Papa walked into the room with sleepy eyes "What is going on here?" He roared.
And immediately, the house fell silent. I could hear Mama trying to catch her breath.
"I'll deal with you two later. But for now, you'll replace that meat for your mother. I don't care how you do it!" Papa continued, pointing at them with anger in his voice. Then he turned and returned to his room.
Mama stood there, mouth open staring at them in disbelief. "This wasn't the kids I raised, and no meat for both of you this Christmas", she added and walked back to the kitchen.
I watched as Kene and Chibuzor slumped to their seats. The silence in the room was deafening and just when I thought it was over, Kene said
"Why did you rat me out alone when I stole the meat for both of us? You were on the lookout," I heard him say.
I blinked. Was he admitting it? So why would they all squabble if they did it together?
"I did look. But you, why did you have to leave such space on the pan?" Chibuzor asked.
"My bad" I heard Kene apologise. He turned and faced Chibuzor, who looked back at him. Then, a smirk cut across their face, and before I could understand what was going on, they burst into laughter. I was left speechless.
After all that fighting, they were laughing like nothing had happened. Well, I wasn't too surprised again; it was normal amongst them and also was the strangest thing to watch. So angry one minute and so carefree the next.
"They're going to punish us later, though", Chibuzor replied in-between laughter. He stood up "Let's go and buy her another chicken so we can apologise to her".
Without argument, Kene stood up. "I don't have much cash", he said.
"Don't worry, I'll cover for you", Chibuzor replied, and together they walked out the door laughing.
I shook my head in disbelief and returned to watching my TV.
Just then mama walked back into the sitting room. She stood there staring at them, laughing and gisting as they left the gate.
"As long as you stay out of their way, those two are a match made in heaven. I wonder why God didn't give them to me as twins," Mama said, shaking her head. "These boys will not kill me" Then a faint smile cut across her face.
It was the same smile that appeared every time Kene and Chibuzor managed to put aside their differences. She sighed before walking back to the kitchen.
