Honestly speaking, disappointment is one of those things that happens when you least expected and it does stings so hard and painful. Let me tell you my experience with it(disappointment).
Theres this friend of mine. We were really close,very close. You know that one person you tell everything? When I say everything, I mean everything, and she opens up to me too, this is someone, who back then, she would talk to me about anything, even when we were in different state, she would show me what shes eating or cooking, ask me to pick a cloth for her to wear to a date or an outing on video call She was that for me. We would stay up all night talking about life, laughing over silly things, and making big plans for the future. But one day, out of nowhere, she just started acting... distant. No fights, no issues and no explanations, just distance. I would text her, and she’d respond hours later, if at all. Calls went unanswered, and before I knew it, it was like I didn’t exist.
At first, I thought maybe she was going through something, so I gave her space. But weeks turned into months, and it became obvious, well I guessed at much when she gained admission, I just waved it off, believing shes not that sort of a person, I believed I knew her and I trusted her, well, I was crushed. It took me time to process it. This is someone I hold so dear. I kept wondering what I did wrong, replaying every conversation we ever had, trying to figure out where it all went wrong. It hurt. I felt betrayed, sad, confused, and even angry. Well I got over it already...am doing fine, but she did disappoint me, never expected such from her.
Then there was this other time. This one still makes me laugh whenever I think about it, I dont know what sort of laugh or what the laugh meant, I just laugh whenever I remember it.
It happened that, I fell ill, barely clinging to life, am not being dramatic here, the sickness was bad. I was seriously ill, and honestly, I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it. But there was this one person who I expected to come around and just check on me,though my family members, friends, church members aall stood by me, but I kept hoping and praying to see this one person just come over. Let’s call him Tunde. Tunde and I were super close. If anyone had told me he wouldn’t show up, I’d have bet my last naira on it. But guess what,he didn't come around. For months, my guy was nowhere to be found. People I didn’t even expect came to check on me.
Eventually, I was getting better, and just one day like that, he showed up, oh, I was boiling inside,I was mad at him, but the situation I am in didn't allow me hold on tonjt for long/as he started explaining himself, apologizing, and all that, I found myself softening. He didn’t have any big excuse, just life getting in the way, as it often does. We talked, we laughed, and we made up. Bygone became bygone, and we moved on, life is too short to hold grudges, right, but still, I’ll never forget how much it hurt in "that moment".
And then there was one more. Let’s call him Kunle. Kunle and I were close too,he had something I needed at a time in school, I knew he has it, and he dis not deny it too, and its not something useful for him as at the moment I needed it, he was the one who promised it and I was rest assured not bothering myself about it, just waiting for the time I would be needing and just reached out to him. I did, but guess what, he started giving excuses like, “I’m busy,” , “I’ll call you back,” well the calls never came, and the silence was loud. It felt like betrayal, I was disappointed, but also, I learned, people are human,they can fail and they have their own struggles, priorities and limitations.
Let's share this last one, I just gained admission then, and I just saw a call on my phone, picked it and it was a friend of mine who we were class mate, he gained admission too, I was happy for him, but he's having issue to raise money to pay for acceptance fee on the school portal, and this payment has a deadline, after which the admission would be revoked, that morning I was getting prepared to go out and get my drugs in a pharmacy, I had to send him the money meant for my drugs( I did not tell him that though), he promised to pay back the third day, well, I can manage till then.
Third day turned to weeks, he never message of call to beg or apologise or just bring an excuse, he didn't, I message him and he left my messages pending, wow...humans can be.....well,its over two years now, maybe he would send the money tomorrow. He messed up big time, even when we meet during lectures then, we just greeted like nothing happened. And thats it.
Disappointment is just part of life. It hurts but it also teaches. It teaches one about people and how to manage your expectations, these experiences have yaught me forgiveness. Life is hard enough without carrying bitterness around.
I have been disappointed, and it’s not fun. Well, honestly, I have disappointed people too. People will fail you, just like you’ll fail them or has failed people too.
What matters is how we choose to handle it. To break us or to shape us. For me, I took the lessons, let go of the pain, and move forward. Life goes on, isn't it.
Posted Using INLEO