"What did I do to deserve this?"
That frail moment when your strength fails.
You feel your life crashing like a glass thrown down from a skyscraper...
You can't help the waves gathering in your eyes and dripping down your cheek.
Your eyes are red and swollen, you try to clean it, but there's no strength to move your arms... 💔. After a while, you notice those tears stop dripping because there isn't more strength to even cry... You've hit the end of the road and come to the end of yourself... What more is there....
That is exactly how the powerful waves of this ocean called life can carry you around and fling you on the sea shore.
Life is not Mr Nice bruv 😂.
From falling academically to losing my confidence, self esteem slipping off like a honey slips from it's comb, insecure about almost every aspect of my life, financial hurdles peeping its big head through, questioning my worth and existence itself... Life has been (is still) such a journey... Whew!
I was almost drowning in this ocean called life when I changed my school to boarding school and surprisingly, my academic performance started to drop. The girl who was once known for her intelligence did not know who she was again because that intelligence seemed to be locked up somewhere...
I had serious identity crises which led to low self esteem that crashed my confidence. I based my worth on my academic performance, so I felt worthless and built a shell around myself. No one knew because my smiles them all up.
While all these was going on, I started accepting ill treatments from people, had zero boundaries and was hooked into external validation. Such a bad place to be.
While I was almost suffocated 😂. I was roaming on the streets of YouTube and came across a video titled LEVEL UP by BREENY LEE. I watched the video and it changed my whole life.
I discovered my worth is not based on anything I'm passing through, its based on what God says about me.
The root of my problem was dealt with. I watched more videos on insecurities and low self esteem, they opened my eyes.
Truly, knowledge is the key to growth.
Now, I help other people with similar issues to mine, understand what they are going through and how to come out.
Life is like a game, the more you learn, the higher your chances of winning.
Some of the things I've learnt are:
Humility.
Compassion.
Minding your business. 😂
Not taking things too personal.
Sometimes, we might need to go through a mess to pass a message.
I think we don't look like what we've been through because we chose to allow ourselves feel what we feel, rise again, wipe those tears, put on a bright smile and hope for a better future. We chose to rise again amidst all. That right there is growth.
If you allow life weigh you down, you might look like a sack of rice thrown into a heap of dirts and dragged out again.
Life will surely test your capacity, your confidence e.t.c The simple answer to how to you rise again is GROWTH. The earlier you realise this, the better for you. It's better you GROW through what you GO through because, you're going through it anyway, so why not use it to your advantage.
Standing heads high during the storm is an answer to one thing... GROWTH.
Life isn't for kids, it's for people that answer to growth (leveling up) every now and then.