I stand against physical abuse at all time and would never lay my hands on my future kids or anyone around me. Beating a child doesn't make them see the wrong in what they did, and it certainly doesn't change them. Sometimes it makes them grow resentment towards you.
I've never seen a child that changed any bad behavior from being physically abused by their parents. They become scared rather than respecting you. And with time, they get used to it and just do what they want and wait for the cane afterwards.
Source
Growing up, my parents were strict with us, but they never raised their hands to flog us for any reason. It's normal to receive hot knocks on your head from time to time in a Nigerian home lol. Sometimes we need that knock so our brain can return to the factory setting after doing something stupid.
Being a mom is one of my dreams and I can't wait for it, but if there's one thing I'd never do is to lay my hands on my kids. I can press a knock on their head or spank their bumbum but I would never beat them as if they're animals. I hate it when I see parents beat their kids, and I just can't explain why. My parents never flogged me and I turned out fine and even better than some of my friends whose parents were always on their neck and would beat them all the time.
I have so many countless examples to give, some are my close friends, and at a point in time, they got so used to the beating that they would go ahead with their bad intentions and wait for the beating afterwards.
As a parent, I would guide my children to the right path and if they choose to misbehave, I'd let you do you , but I'll make sure I talk about the effects of what you're doing to you, Just like how my mum trained me. No physical abuse, but you dare not misbehave or leave the house without permission. Just talking alone would bring me to tears.
Kids are not animals for us to flog.
Being friends with your kids goes a long way, you can't give advice to someone that doesn't trust you or confides in you even tho you're right.
Talk to your kids, it goes a long way. Let's take this scenario ( having a best friend whom you share all your problems with. If you talk to that friend, they would listen to you and when they advice you, you'll listen to them) be that person to your kids . Cut them some slack sometimes , they're kids and they would certainly get on your nerves if not everyday.
Some weeks ago, my aunt called that her 9yr old ran away from home .she called to ask if she was at our house. We were all shocked and surprised because it has never happened before with her . ( Her elder sis was a pro at running away lol) My aunt said she left a note for her on the dining table.
On the note, she said she didn't want to die that's why she ran away from home .
My elder sis was so pissed about the whole matter and asked what happened. My aunt narrated everything and said it's because she asked her to take her bath that morning.
Since it's the flood break over here in Bayelsa, they have lessons they attend every morning. The mom asked her to bath but she was busy playing so instead of talking to her, she gave her a little beating that morning and asked her to bathe or else she would receive round two of the beating again. She was scared so she ran away.
Luckily for us she didn't go far. She only ran to her auntie's place which is not too far from their house.... We were all scared and it was almost night when the mom called that her sis inlaw called and said Denyefa just got to her place. Well she stayed there for some days and she finally came back home after.
My elder sis who lives close by was talking about the matter and said their mum always beat them mercilessly all the time so they're now used to it.
Image is mine
My mum Of blessed memories, would wake me up very early in the morning and talk to me about my recent behaviors that she didn't like. Of course I listened because I trusted her and knew she would never lead me astray. And most times after the talk, I would see certain changes in my behavior. Even on days where I refused to wash the dishes, she would cut me some slack sometimes and then on some days , she would talk to me or some days she would not wash it at all and she would give me a condition and if I didn't do the chore i wouldn't go out. I have so many friends who would receive severe beating from their parents all because they forgot to wash the dishes or sweep the house.
I'm not a parent yet so I can't tell, but make sure you have a good mother son /daughter relationship with your kids. Sometimes they just need a friend and not someone bossing them around.
Thanks for reading❤️
