For the past few days now I have been trying my best to feel perfect like nothing is wrong with me, putting fake smiles on my face to make people happy but deep inside me is like hell, I feel like a wet wood burning amid flames.
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Sometimes I wonder if what I am doing is wrong or right or if thoroughly I am taking or making the right decision but the truth is life will not always work in my favor until i make it do so. The reason why i said this is because we can all aim to have someone or something but not still get or the person never wanted to have you, i know how hurtful this can seem and no one ever deserves this kind of pain or struggle not even the person making decisions.
In my silence and pain, i try to get angry but i cant, i try to clear my mind off it but it takes too long, my heart really want this but my brain is done, my heart crave to make things really work out and be unbroken but my brain is done of any pain, sometimes i wonder when people say, let the brain control your body and emotions, its true, our heart and body tend to make decisions following feelings and emotions but life without emotions is useless and hopeless. My friends speak of my taking control of myself and now i get better daily, clearing my mind with some rhigorous exercises to relieve my heart and body of this feelings. I was truly ready to risk anything to make things work out but can two accept unless they work together.
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The only thing i could do at this moment was listen to Andrew Tate motivation and stay woken and not being distracted by her or anything she does. I also listen to James arthur train wreck, this song burst out my feelings almost leading me to cry but I can’t because i find it hard to release tears from my eyes.
I specifically don’t know he lyrics of this song, but this song sound, voice and everything hit deep into my heart, making me feel alive and woken. I get so emotional listening to this song even though i can’t translate the lyrics. I felt it like my breakup was yesterday.
One admiring thing about listening to this songs is that we tend to discover the area we made our mistakes by reflecting along side emotionally to the rhythm of the song Vocal. Sometimes being on love with someone makes us make a lot of mistakes and endure a lot of embarrassment and insults. No one is perfect, I wouldn’t blame anyone for leaving, we all tend to have our own personal decisions. I hope she gets happy and meet a fulfilled dreams, and i hope i get healed fast because life moves on even though but holding this pain for long can drive me to make harsh regretful decisions. I love peace but i was ready to take pain to make her happy i guess she wasn’t worth it at the end. To any one experiencing this, i wish you healing energy and a successful life because thats the best revenge for this.
Thank you for reading my post
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