A big bang sound on the ground that took some time to reach the tenth floor where I was standing. Within a few seconds weird screams and lots of people gathered there, terrible screams of people that frightened me like hell. I sat there and told myself, “What have I done? What should I do now? How to escape? I will be dead.”
“I didn’t do anything intentionally, it was not my fault, I should leave this place right away,” I said to myself while looking for a way out.
My batch mate and my best friend came to me and asked, “What have you done Mahedy? So many are wounded, a few might have died if not many.”
“Trust me, I didn’t do anything intentionally, why would I do such a thing that would take the lives of a person, that too injuring so many, even my friends.”
“Whatever you did is gonna haunt you down badly, mate!” Rehman said this and left for the ground.
“Two died and four injured due to this incident. The accused will be held accountable for what he did, and justice will be served.” this news came to our room and I started for an easy escape without thinking about the death or guilt I needed to bear.
Just like the other days, I am at the armory store, checking the armor and explosives one by one. Here, 30% of them are for real purposes and 70% serve for training purposes. I do have a habit of flexing with things that I am good at. Like, shooting with real guns but with tricks the bullets will be out and I will fake shots. Taking four bombs among which two will be fake and two real, you gotta have a strong sense to differentiate between them. I would bring them out and play with them in the mass. They get terrified oftentimes but I have faith in my skills. Many times I have shot a pineapple in the head from a distance.
But that day, like any other day, I am on my way to play with fire. Like showcasing them my usual tricks and terrifying them as hell. One of the most horrifying ones was having four bombs among which three of them will be real and one fake. I won't even touch nor see, I would just randomly pick one to pull the trigger instantly and all the juniors would scream as hell out of fear. That's fun and proud moments to showcase. I was warned many times, not to act like this, who cares?
I played that same shit on that day again like many other days. But, this time, I just pulled out the trigger of a real one, a real one. I too started shaking thinking of what to do. There were plenty of soldiers in the room and so my instantly reflecting nerves triggered me instantly, I threw that bomb out of the window. What have done.
“I was just playing like other days, who replaced the crate with the real ones instead of fake ones is unknown to me. Is that intentionally or unintentionally done not revealed, may that reduce the guilt a little bit. “
I just remembered a relatable quote, “what is worse? To live as a murderer or to die and escape from lifelong guilt.” I accepted my mistake and didn’t plead for forgiveness as I should be punished for what I have done. The habit of playing with fire like nothing would happen just took me to the stage to be hanged. That's the end of this chapter that got started with a foolish act and lead me towards the end along with many lives.
I left a note, stating, "Everything has a limit, nothing is good out of the boundaries. I was overconfident and carefree that led me toy downfall. I didn’t think, such act of mine would cause this kinda disaster."
That's the domino effect of my foolishness, signing off!!
