As you all might have already noticed Bangladesh is going through a very hard time. After a week of disconnectivity from the internet, we are back online. After getting connected the first thing I did was to publish the drafts that I had written little by little about those days. I wish I could write that even more transparently, an unseen fear or something like this is stuck in our heads. No way we can remove that unless we are ready to embrace death as many of our brothers did. I wish I could have been that much more courageous. Yeah, I am a coward. I see no shame in accepting this fact.
You know what, we have been desperate as hell to get back the internet connectivity but after we got back online, within ten to fifteen minutes I got the realization that we were better off disconnected. Why? Because we were disconnected from the internet, our news feed got blank for those days, but what about in reality? The clashes didn't stop, the sufferings of my brothers and sisters were not stopped, they kept suffering and those who witnessed did gather proof, and all of them kept on coming when Bangladesh was back online. The happiness of getting back to the internet turned into sadness, anger, and depression after seeing how brutally they were killed on the streets. There were tons of videos and posts with every scroll, I couldn't dare to keep watching them. Just a couple of them and I was done with those horrific truths.
Can you believe some incidents like the nation being under curfew so everyone is inside the home? Someone on his balcony gets shot dead? Yeah, he was a university student, and his family forbade him to go out in these clashes, they had fears of their boy being harmed. How would they now console themselves that their boy is shot dead even from his balcony? Okay, listen more, a child who would be around six years old got shot dead while she was playing on her terrace. Are these acceptable? Okay, I do admit that these are unintentional or an accident but will these be able to console their families in any way? No, never ever.
Escape ~ Few of these news stories are being shared over and over again so there is no way you can escape them. Okay, amidst all this sadness, something made me happy today, really happy. First of all, I am a youth as well, on the streets the majority of the students are my age, those who are dead are the same as me. Why are they protesting on the streets like brave souls and sacrificing their lives when needed and I am sitting idly in my home? Well, I was in Dhaka, from where everything started, so why did I run away? Because I am a coward. Coming back to my hometown, I was feeling very frustrated running away like this while I was scrolling through the death news of my brothers who had the same cause as I desired.
Impact ~ My family didn't raise me with this kinda bravery, but did it cripple me? Hell no, the protests were to choose between merit and quota, we were for merit, point to be noted ‘merit’ so everyone is not required on the streets to showcase muscle power if they are good at doing something else. Something that can have an impact, not like posting on Facebook, or writing revolutionary articles that don't hold much value other than showcasing my stance, they should come forward with that skill. So, I decided to use merit over muscle power and so I did, a little bit of anonymity of what I did but it had an impact and I don't wanna claim any credit, inner satisfaction is what the biggest reward is for me. Now I am satisfied that I could do something, I am not a coward, but rather a reflection of what we are fighting for, a symbol of ‘merit’ and so I did my part in that way.
Well, am I exaggerating about myself? Let's have a full stop on this. Now I can have some peace that I didn't just run away like a coward, I did what I am good at rather than muscle power. Years later, when we would recall these days, I wouldn't be ashamed of myself. So yeah, the point is, you needn't go with the flow just to make a stance if you are not good at that. If you know you can do something else in a better way then go for it, that should be even more effective and beneficial.
Keep Bangladesh in your prayers,
Have a great day,
Take Care!!
Wes & Grindan