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I was young and of course naive. I was truly in love with her like she was my world and without her I could not see myself continue living. Even though we were like Cat and Mouse I’d always be the one to understand. I’d rather say “I’m sorry” instead of hearing her saying “Goodbye.” It felt like I was suffocating and depressed because I wanted to be honest of what I was feeling. Yet, I chose to hurt inside just to make sure our love would not end apart.
Yes, I was foolish but maybe because of my love not because I was just young back then. I accepted already that there was no choice I could pick if I continued arguing or fighting. Sometimes I did wonder if she really loved me after hearing her saying a couple of times, “let’s just break up.” Even though my heart was bleeding, I remained hidden and begged her not to. The fighting ended when I accepted her reasons and asked for forgiveness. I apologize even though it was not me who was wrong.
It was unfair, sometimes in my lonely time I said it to myself. I wanted to fight back or wanted to say something as well. It hurts. It was very painful to me as I’d thought I was not allowed to express my heartbreaks towards her. There were things I wanted to clarify, especially those jealousy towards other guys often. But how could I when I talked about it she yelled at me immediately, if not she’d began sulking. I just then stopped my questions and worried not to light a fire.
I’d forgotten how long we’d been together because our relationship ended because of her choosing another man over me. How funny it was back then but again I begged her to choose me and not that guy. They’d gone out a couple of times or maybe worse from what I heard from friends. But how stupid I really was because I didn’t let go and was thinking of just forgiving her. However, she really loved that guy because she was not just turned me down but for long she turned her back at me. She forbid me to see her and what’s worst she treated me like an enemy.
I could not forget her easily despite what she did to me. How many liter of tears was shed but it was not enough to ease the pain. Days and months had passed but the time was still insufficient. I didn’t know what happened back then but there was that time that when I woke up the pain was gone. I even forgot her even though my heart said to keep thinking on her. Indeed, in life there is no constant, everything changes, not just appearances or things but emotions too. And now, when I think about that “Old Love Story” I mock myself but then I just answered. I was just in love before.
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ABOUT ME
Paul was born in Macrohon, Southern Leyte but currently living in Cahayag, San Francisco Southern Leyte. He graduated the course of a BS Mar-E or Bachelor of Science in Marine Engineering in 2019. Although writing is his passion so instead of sailing he decided on writing.
He writes occasionally about random stuff he would see in the outside world. He loves to express what he feels through writing because he's not good at speaking personally.
He also writes fictional stories and emotions because he thinks life matters. He is hoping that his words could reach someone who might be feeling down.
Join me and support me through my adventures not just to the world but also to the human minds not to hate being alive.
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