Few weeks back when I was in Mumbai, this happened. I was in the locality of my childhood home. Me and my sister sold off our childhood home after my dad passed away in 2000. Somehow we always felt that the home did not have good vibes and it had brought lot of pain into our lives, it had brought lot of pain to my father's life also. He never was happy in his life and so were we in that home. When he was alive and we were very young, we yet insisted him to sell of that home and shift to another place, but he had strong attachment to it, since it was his childhood home and he had his fond memories of that place with his parents, he always refused. But when he passed away me and my sister decided to give up that home since we always had this feeling that it was a very unlucky home for all of us.
Since we grew up there, we had some of our friends still staying there, and often I visited at the building, but I never wanted to see my house. I would feel that looking at it also I may get some bad vibes back in my life again, so much of pain I have had in that home that it kind of haunted me for a very long time. In the last few years I have been having these thoughts of breaking this taboo that I had in my mind. My home kept appearing in my dream as if it was calling me, and the thoughts just kept going on in my mind all the time.
Finally this time, I thought of confronting my own fears and take a look at my home. It's been so many years and all those people I knew have also left the building now. When I went there I saw all new faces and they were also giving me a strange look. They thought I was lost over there and asked me if I needed help and I politely refused not telling them anything much.
We had sold our home to one person who wanted to use it as a warehouse for stocking up his goods. Previously when I would visit the building from far I would see the door open but I never had the courage to come up to the door. This time when I gathered the courage to visit, the door was closed. But as I stood there in front of it all I had was tears rolling down. I had this sudden break down and I wanted to go inside, but it was locked. When I lived here it was an open verandah and the whole home looked so different, but now the person who bought it has covered up everything and sadly I could not even get a little glimpse of my home.
The ground floor home with the black locked door was my home at once upon a time. When I look at this place, I value how far I have come in life. At the same time I strongly believe that one must never forget their roots. Though mine were not very strong but yet this was my reality at once upon a time, and whenever I think of it all I feel is humbled with the life that I have now.
It was not a wrong decision to sell of this place, the building has become very old and the locality has also gone very bad. You can see how bad shaped it is now, the building has all supports so that things do not fall off.
However far I may come in life but this is also one reality of my life which I will never forget and I am so grateful to the Universe and my God to get me out of this and bringing better things to me.
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