An introvert is a person that feels more comfortable focussing on their inner thoughts and ideas, rather than paying attention to what's happening externally. Being an introvert, you are being thought as quiet, reserved, calm, and a thoughtful individual that do not seek social involvement or external attention. And all these traits that an introvert possesses, seems to most people as a point of weakness.
As a child, I have always been the shy, quiet and collected kid. I enjoy being by myself most of the times, can't deal with much people, I struggled attimes to find my voice in the midst of people, I find it suffocating being among too much people and I always look for a scape route. Then I hated going to events, weddings, parties, as those locations tends to be huddled with people, and i wondered at the idea of one wanting so many people around, it appeared absurd and wasteful, but then, my mom always oblige me to attend against my wish. While at these events, I am incessantly absent-minded, as I don't appear to care about the proceedings going on, and i habitually anticipate my exit on my arrival. I have always been a party pooper, and a complete contradiction of a social butterfly. Despite my love for music, when it's being played in parties or social event, I will be stiff, I can't even sing along with the lyrics when I know the song, but it is different when I am alone, I tend to sing loud and dance to the music. Technically I am a one man squad.
Most people perceive introverts as foolish, nerds, witless. I have encounter some degree of disrespect as regards my introvertedness. Some people are self absorbed and they are likely to impede on your right if you are not expressive. I recounter an experience I had in primary school, it was break time, I happened to be in a space where some clique of friends are giggling and badmouthing the girl we regarded as the biggest in our class and she's also a bully. School closed, and I ambled alone towards home, unexpectedly, I felt a tight grip on my collar, standing before me was the bully, I had no idea why she attacked me, I struggled to find the words to ask her what I did but i was numbed. While still gripping my collar, she then accused me of being among the clique of friends who bad-mouthed her earlier in class, and since she couldn't get hold of them, I am going to bear the consequences. Once again, I was confused, I tried to let her know I wasn't part of the conspiracy, but she wouldn't listen, as she made an attempt to strike me, a man who has been watching the show I guess halted her and shoved her away from me. He was my saving grace that moment, he cautioned her, and instructed me to get going, and warned her not to attack me again. Going home, I was reflecting on what just happened, I was still agitated, at the same time I was angry at why she chooses to attack me instead, and i realized that it is in view of my quiet nature she picked on me, I was so angry and that I beat myself on why I didn't fight back, and I said to myself that maybe these people are right, I am indeed foolish. I got home that day and I couldn't do anything, I just locked myself in my room throughout, when asked what happened, I couldn't say what Happened to anyone, I just beared all the hurt.
Being an introvert doesn't translate to being unexpressive. Most introverts are not expressive, they find it difficult to express themselves when necessary because of their too quiet nature, thereby constituting the grounds for disrespect and disregard. Before now, I find it difficult to communicate how I feel, to me anything goes, and it has caused me disrespect in some occasions where I am deemed as foolish. Anytime I was referred to as foolish, it feels really unpleasant, and I try to be expressive in subsequent occurrences, the words will not just come out right, I will end up sounding awkward and flimsy, and I will blame myself for even attempting to talk in the first place.
How I started earning the respect I deserved.
Over the years, I have abhor the manner people think of me in. I am an introvert, I can't change that, that's my gift from nature, amidst all the bully and disrespect, I still enjoy being the quiet and shy girl. But nonetheless, I desired for respect and regard from people, and I wished to stand up for my self when oppressed. I get weakened at the conception of my hopes, and I doubted the possibility. But then a sense of determination stroke me, and I began learning more about introvertedness from Google, and how I can command respect being an introvert, and also my elder brother was of great help, he will coach me on how to defend myself, whenever I was bullied outside and I tell him, he always fights for me, me seeing him do that motivates me to be able to stand for myself, so I can defend my younger ones also when bullied. I gathered alot, first I learned about how to brace my self esteem, and constantly reminded myself that I am not what people see me as. Secondly, I stopped being apologetic. I can say I have apologized more for things I had no idea of than those I was aware of. So I stopped apologizing for who I am, you either accept me or you don't, either ways I unapologetically choosed to be me. I stopped trying to appeal to people's choices before i could feel better. Getting better, I became expressive, I learned to communicate how I feel and the way I felt it, and that granted me audience, and I was taken more seriously. Also, I became decisive, I made decisions clearly, and I trusted my choices, there by gaining people's Faith in me, and gaining their respect equally.
Basically, I enabled my self confidence, and I measured up. However, I urge all introverts that can relate to not level to the grounds of disrespect and disregard. People will always be people, and respect isn't something that should be demanded, or necessarily acquired, it should be a natural sequel of knowing yourself, you are an introvert, and so what, it's not your doing, and when you feel you need to change your self, you will end up making things worst, and ruining whatever it is you stand for. I urge all introverts to be you unapologetically, only in that light will people concur to see you that way.
