When one who has been forgiven their wrongs by their good friend thinks of their good friend, they get the good feeling that comes with having someone who hasn't done them any wrong, at least so far.
But when the good friend thinks of them, they don't get that good feeling, instead, the feeling they get is mixed with some hints of resentment or at least incomplete trust.
The good friend would always be the guy who they love and want to be with but the good friend can look at them that same way because they have hurt him several times in the past.
And this is one of the pains the good guy has to go through. He is a light, he brings happiness to the people around him but he usually can't get the same from them.
Except he's lucky enough to have good people around him too, but how rarely that is the case. What are the chances of finding two or more genuinely good people in the same place?
People who are kind, loving, selfless, loyal, and wise enough to apply wisdom to their show of affection. Humble enough to quickly accept their when they're wrong and apologize immediately. How common is it to find more than one person like this in the same place and time?
So the one good guy who is USUALLY the only good guy in the duo or group has to deal with the fact that others would never make him as happy as he makes them.
This is even more painful if the good guy is the philosopher type who thinks deeply about things. He'd always come to realize he's always shortchanged in his relationships, and even though there are many consolatory theories that would keep him going, the fact remains that he has to deal with that pain.
It would be presumptuous to say I'm a good guy, but I think it's okay to say I've had relationships where I was the good guy but the others kept requiring forgiveness.
Recently I've had some of them try to get back in my life and they complain about how I'm not trying to be very friendly with them like old times, about how they are doing a better job at being friendly than I am, and about how they clearly value myself and the friendship more than I do.
And I try to explain to them, of course, you'd value myself and the friendship more than I would. I've been nothing but good to you so you look at me and see a sweetheart. I don't see a sweetheart when I look at you, you're the one who's done messed up stuff to me in the past.
I'm your light, I'm your clear sky, you're not mine. I'm more flower, you're more thorn.
But of course, people who were selfish enough to hurt their loved ones would hardly have the selflessness it takes to realize they deserve what is coming to them, they deserve no longer being wanted like old times.
The End
[Cover art created by myself]
Hi there, my novella Professor Otagburuagu just got published. It promises to be thoroughly entertaining and intellectually stimulating. Written by myself and illustrated by Scandinavian artist @ katharsisdrill. You can get it from me for just 4 HBD.
You can also order the hard copy from anywhere in the world via this link:
https://katharsisdrill.art/the-katharsisdrill-shop/professor-otagburuagu/
Thank you!