Art by Andrej Z.T.
I saved a copy of your letter, all these long years. I've never read it, but it sits in a drawer beside me...
Always beside me.
But, I don't have to tell you that, do I? You put me here, where I've stayed, for... how long? I used to leave a little notch in the wall for every day that passed but realized slowly that the walls were self-repairing and my markings slowly faded. I turned to keeping track of seasons, in my head. That was fun, for a while, but one summer day I had a small bird perch along the ledge of the tiny slit of window you provided and I got so excited that I forgot my count.
I haven't seen the bird since. It was nice though.
You'd tell me it was a niceness I didn't deserve, no doubt. You spent a lot of time saying things like that, after the... discovery.
Did you add a cage around my room? Did you notice the bird and think, 'Well, that just won't do' and take steps to ensure I never see another living thing?
It would be pretty petty of you if you did. Four bare walls of the same off-white that everything else in here is made from is nearly enough to drive a person mad. Nearly. And, I am still a person, aren't I?
Isn't that what they determined? "Pursuant to the charter of blah-blah and the dumb legalese nonsense of forever ago, this citizen retains their rights and status pertaining to Personhood". You'll forgive me my paraphrasing, I admit I paid little attention to the statements that were made at my trial. I do remember, clearly, that I was deemed to still be a 'Person' however.
Oh how that lit a fire in you.
"We should kill him!" I remember you stating. Odd stance, for the Arbiter to take but, I mean... after what I did, I guess it's understandable.
"It would be a mercy, not for him, but for everyone who..." your voice had caught then, pinched off like I'd heard so so many times in such wonderfully different circumstances.
And, you know... maybe you're right. Maybe it would be a mercy for them. Maybe it would even be a mercy for me, an end to the droning background noise of my new existence... but, on a practical level: How?
They claim you're the smartest person to have ever lived. Surely true since you did manage to catch me, and cage me. But I do wonder how you could kill me. It cost you all so much just to slow me down! All while I became more.
Was that when you came up with your solution? Seeing everything and everyone you threw at me become me?
It must have been such a terrible choice to make. All those souls and you - you, personally - fed them to me. Brilliant move, overloading me like that. It must have taken so much planning to pull off.
For the record, I never would have gone that far. Millions of lives? What terrible wonderful excess. Rivaling even the greed of the kings of old. No, that was never something I wanted.
My desires were simple, and honest. I wanted to live forever. I told you all, and everyone laughed and ignored me.
Ignored me until I found a way to do just that. You're not the only brilliant mind, after all. Our names were once synonymous, but while you looked at a future where you'd eventually get old and slow and dead... I made my own future. A future where my abilities would never be stunted by the cold grip of time. After all I had done for this world and so many others... a few thousand deaths for millions of years of my help seemed like such a small price to pay.
At any rate, I should really cut this letter short. I'm running out of skin on the poor guard's back, and I think I hear sirens in the distance.
You really shouldn't have let me think so much within your little mouse-trap. You should have anticipated that I would find a way out.
Don't worry though, when I find you... I'll give you the mercy of not joining me.
It is the least I could do.
Inspired by @alonicus's prompt: Mercy Killing
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