It is essential to state that the world today in general takes a lot from people and the tendency to criticize one’s self increases. Some of the detrimental self-talk we hear is that we are not sufficient, we are inferior, or should have performed better. Sound familiar? Growing up we are taught to never let ourselves off the hook and that being harsh on ourselves is the key to success, that if we’re not angry at ourselves life will let us slip. But what if, instead of trying to avoid all stimuli related to the object of your fear, there was another approach? Chris: “Well, what was on the other side of ‘what if’ you could replace yourself with the biggest two faced supporter instead of the squad for criticism?”
Enter self-compassion
Self-compassion is about cherishing that voice inside of you that is supportive, accepting and forgiving, especially on those occasions when the things do not go as planned. It’s actually self-coaching, it is talking to yourself in the manner you would use when addressing a friend who is going through a hard time. But for some reason, for ourselves we do not seem to be so forgiving on ourselves as we are for others. Why? That is why in our case it may be so challenging to stop listening to the inner voice that tells us that self-criticism is uplifting and constructive.
But here’s the truth: That is not true
It may work in the beginning to keep you motivated and actually punishes your body, mind, and spirit over time, literally sapping your strength, making you doubt your abilities, and rendering you immobile. Self-compassion, however, enables you. When you learn being gentle to yourself, you are stronger. We recover from failures rather quickly for you do not spend time engaging in self-flagellation, but getting back up.
Think about it. If one of your friends comes to you one day and he or she has made a mistake in doing something would you get angry and tell them that they are a failure? No—you’d hug them, share words of assurance and let them know that one slip does not make them who they are. You should be able to give that to yourself as well. You have to know that you are worthy of being an ally for yourself.
Self-compassion doesn’t require you to minimize your weaknesses or to live in an assumption that things are always fine. That means understanding that you are only a human being like everyone else and the fact that we are all flawed.
Whenever you cease pushing yourself against a wall and learn to embrace your mistakes as positive experience the burden is off. You feel more ‘weightless,’ empowered and less bothered about what others will think of you.
And so the next time you are caught in the vortex of negative self-thinking, stop yourself. Take a deep breath, and remind yourself: you do not need anything to make you whole, you are complete perfect just as you are. There is no need to be perfect and it is okay. Today, let’s become an ally of ourselves and see how the world changes right before our very eyes and becomes filled with joy.
Thank you for reading!!!!!!
