Finally, it's here! Without exaggeration: I have not been happier in a long long time. This life is everything I wanted. And here it is. Poof! Out of nowhere the demon jungle ended and I found myself on a shore of potential and actual cosmic benevolence!
Don't know if I materialized it, whether it is the payoff for all the hardship and disappointments this year. Don't know whether this place even existed a month ago (it sure doesn't feel like it). Don't know whether it is cosmic balance, the eventual upswing after a long down phase.
And I don't really care anymore either. I am so busy every day, following the cosmic impulses in me as they arise. And it is such a blast!
I have been so keen to get into foraging and suddenly I find myself in an overabundant forest of oaks and acorns. So that will be the food project for next week, whatever a week is or means. I have no idea what day it is and it doesn't matter either. All that matters is right here, right now. What wants to be done, as it lovingly calls me.
Here is the first batch of acorns I ever collected with my own hands.
I guess it finally happened! Somehow now was enough pain, and everything just released into awesomeness.
I went from theory and overstudying everything to pure unadulterated practice. And it is every bit as rewarding as I had hoped. I go to bed tired and beaten, satisfied, and I can't wait for the next morning to arrive to get up again and continue doing what comes up.
The way here from Germany was quick for my woman and me, we drove past so many landscapes and scenery, but that was when we were still fatigued, hopeless even and tired of life. Not daring to have any expectations or even aspirations that something great would come our way. But it has.
And now everything is just cosmic. Having hot drinks all day, like the lovely Italian coffee substitute Orzo, which is ground barley, Tastes fabulous and will not give you the jitters.
I am observing myself slowly steering back to balance in me, in what I do, what I feel and what I think I am doing on Earth. Because I AM DOIN IT right now. What a cosmic joke. The house my not be ours, but we could not wish for any more leeway and self-determination these days. The hosts are great and are super happy we are having such a wonderful time. We don't ever see them really, as they live half an hour drive away. But they are wonderful people and have fully trusted their childhood home to our care for the (un)foreseeable future.
We even had some challengy mystery moments, like driving back through the Italian countryside in the middle of the night to our isolated forest home. But we're pros by now. No biggie <3
The inner monk was right. He always is. My ego thought the suffering would never end but somehow we endured. I feel wiser. More ready to face the next challenge that will inevitably arise at some point. Because I can feel myself recharge, my spirit coming back one day and split log at a time, and though this day is over again I am stoked about tomorrow.
Who ever thought that could be possible? Wow!
I am so thankful that we are here and that we can take our sweet time doing everything at our own accord.
Life, you have my deepest gratitude! Thank you for not letting me down!