I had a heart to heart conversation with someone who happens to be really close to my heart, and although they didn't take it well at first, I was glad I said what I said, when I said it because that was how I genuinely felt at the moment.
Earlier today, I had made plans to go on a walk alone later this evening but a close female friend of mine had come to visit unexpectedly. So I had decided to postpone the walk for another day and instead use that opportunity of being at home to get some stuff done.
So I started with the dishes, and usually whenever I'm doing the dishes, I always make sure to put a movie on with my phone and then put on my earpod, so that I could enjoy myself while doing the one thing I hate, the dishes.
But because this friend was around, I felt it would be rude following my usual routine when instead I should be having conversations with this person, because the fact that they left everything they had to do to come hang out with me meant a lot.
So I began to think about something that I could talk to this friend about, I thought about something interesting that I did this past week that could be used as a conversation starter, but everytime I came up with something in my head, I found myself dismissing it.
At first I thought it was because these things were too personal but they weren't, it turned out I was refusing to talk about certain things with this person because I've had situations in this past where they had used stuff that I've told them in secret, against me during an argument.
Although it's usually just us in the room or in a private space whenever these arguments happen, them using those stuff that I told them always shut me up because I can't counter it. It's something that I told them myself so I can't even deny it or say it's not true.
The moment I realized this was why I was avoiding having certain conversations with her, I brought it up because I needed to address it. Immediately I told her how I felt about the whole thing, while also reminding her about certain scenerios where she did use personal stuff that I told her in the past against me.
As expected, she got upset at first but later saw sense in what I had said and got over it. The crazy thing about this whole thing was that me calling her out for what she did wasn't because I was upset or that I wanted to go back to telling her personal stuff about me... I've learnt my lesson and it's not happening again.
I just felt I needed to tell her though, so she doesn't do the same thing to someone else and lose their trust like she lost mine.