On the third of June last year I wanted to commit sucide, I thought of the best way to make my audience feel the pain, so I decided to write a letter.
The first one my handwriting was soo fine...instead of looking like a death note, it looked like a love letter so I tore it. I then felt if I was to use a needle to draw out blood from my skin then use it to write...it would send a chill to my audience as they stood beside my body..but after I pierced the needle twice, the pain alone was soo much, so I had to finally stick to using pencil....if they want to read it or not, it's their business.
I got to the backside of my house and my neighbors had their clothes on the rope already, so I took the last ₦500 I had to go get a rope, but you cant see a rope of ₦500 anymore, one of the men told me he would sell his rope for ₦1,500 last, I was begging this man for ₦800 if he was to say yes I didn't even know where ill get extra ₦300 and pay him.
Soon all the saliva in my mouth dried up while begging him, coupled with the hot sun that afternoon, at a point, it started to feel like the sun was shining just on me.
Out of the ₦500, I bought Coke ₦150, gala ₦100....before I could reach the front, some cult boys met me and took the remaining ₦250...I was trying to act stubborn....one slapped me and another told me to sing them a song as I was crying, but the song I was singing sounded like I was saying a sentence, another told me to rap for them...I didn't know when while raping I said "F*ck you all bad boys",
They got angry, one wanted to beat me up but another decided they should make me twerk from that junction to the next.....
Oh God, that was one of the most embarrassing days of my life, so I started twisting my waist and shaking my ass as I moved, they walked behind slowly with Cains that would be used on me if I stopped.
Finally, we got to the next junction...as if I wasn't having a bad day already all my crush passed that road the time it was happening, almost 1000 people decided to do a video, the most stressful part was hearing guys with muscles, I mean guys with dark kpomo lips talking about my ass.
Finally, the cult guys left me, then I started strolling back home but it looked like it was far, so I ran but I still didn't reach...I took a container by the roadside, tore my clothes a little, and started shouting...
"I am Blind oh, I need your help"
After 20min someone kept ₦50 inside the container.
I hurriedly got up, took a bike home... I felt the universe was angry at me, so I decided if I live to pass that day...ill make sure, my children, the children of my children, and the children of my children's Children will never go and prize rope in the market ever...it will be printed bold and my generation will honor it forever and ever.
Soon I perceived a sweet aroma in my compound, it was coming from David's room...I asked what he was preparing...he said he wanted to prepare Goat meat pepper soup because he was depressed...so I decided to talk to him so that before I finish talking the pepper soup will be ready for consumption.
Soon we started sipping and chewing..and I decided ill try encouraging him from his little depression, but he acted like he has seen it all, so I told him what I'm going through and soon both of us got depressed again...but David's own was soo bad he started crying...I started treating him like I was his mother and he was my son.
After a few minutes, he asked what we should do, I told him I tried committed suicide earlier...he said the idea is cool.
Then he asked if I got a rope, I said no, he said he has a secret, I asked what, he said he has a revolver and its two rounds left, I said okay what the plan....he said we would play Russian roulette.
DEAL
But first let's play a game of chess, who loses first starts... the deal was made and I won the game.
He started and I took a turn, we both smiled, and as I was handled the revolver to him....BOOM!!!
I had mistakenly pressed the trigger, the bullet had scattered the watermelon on his table...
The sight was unbelievable...we stood in deep shock for a minute or two...
He asked me if that was how the bullet would have shattered his brains into tiny particles?
I said yes.
So we both cried for being stupid...we apologized to ourselves, hugged ourselves, and promised never to think of killing ourselves again....but even if we would be crazy enough to try it...we won't use a revolver again.
DEAL
We decided to take a walk to go see our friend and explain all that had happened.
We saw him outside...he was surprised we were happy together...he asked if we had a piece of good news, we said no.
We asked about his wife and baby... then he started crying, he told us if we remembered when the girl told him she was pregnant and the girl's brothers came to beat him up several times, we said YES
He asked if we also remember when he stayed with her at the hospital until she gave birth....we said YES Ohhh
He asked again if we remembered when during the baby's naming ceremony...I got drunk and someone carried me on a wheelbarrow home.
Me: my friend what is wrong with you...see don't insult me here... I don't remember anything like that.
He apologized and told us a man came with a jeep this morning, the man even came with some policemen and claimed the child was his own and that he is here to take the baby...
We were like haha!!
He said everything was like a joke until his wife told him the baby isn't his own...he even went ahead to say his wife told the man he was her brother and the reason she stayed with him was that she had an accommodation problem.
We felt sad and told him to take the man to court...he said no that he has a better plan...we asked what, he told us to wait for him.
After 45min we got worried...we knocked on his door and he wasn't replying, we banged, we shouted his name, we even begged him to open up.
Soon another neighbor joined, we checked his window, and it was locked, someone wanted to break it, but the landlord said anyone who breaks anything would pay.
Soon we got a huge man....the man ran back as we all gave him the way...Boom!!!
The door opened and behold my very good friend on his bed sleeping like a baby.
I'm finally back to writing...and I want this to make all hivers know SUICIDE isn't the best solution.
For the best experience view this post on Liketu
