Just like in this picture, anytime my hands rest on the iron balcony, looking ahead into the sky as it stretches wide before me like an endless path towards the future, I am always proud of the life I have come to embrace - one built on simplicity, mindfulness and the little things that bring peace.
In one of my posts where I wrote about being a minimalist, I talked about how I didn't know that the life I was living from my young age had a name for it - minimalism. I just found myself living in a simple way, this wasn't just my way of being, it was a path I had chosen and held onto firmly while watching the kind of background I came from.
I have been one kind of person who didn't fancy lots of relationships and this is because I have watched how people end up being ruined by their friendships with others and how they have allowed themselves to be controlled, tossed here and there. After all, they want to please them. I have never been one right from the onset. I have always done what pleases me and not what pleases others and this is one thing that has earned me the respect of the few people around me.
These people know how when they tell me to do something, how I would take my time thinking it through and if it's not worth it in the long run, I will say no. Even though it used to make them feel sad, they still came back to accept the reason I said no.
There was a time during my degree studies when we weren't allowed to cook inside because the landlord was afraid one of us would burn the house down someday. So, I used to bring my gas out behind my door and cook. There was this lady in the same compound, her room beside mine. So, because we all bring our gases out to cook, we know what the next person is cooking.
Everyone knew this lady and how extravagant her lifestyle was. Many times, when she wanted to prepare a new stew, she would buy meat, chicken, fish and all other things to add to her stew but never had it occurred to her to always save and manage what she had. She had a boyfriend then who was spending lavishly on her too but she didn't expect what was coming for her.
The day she told me to live and enjoy my life by spending lavishly too because she thought I had the same life as her. I plainly told her I wasn't like her because I enjoyed the little I had. It was a shock when her boyfriend left her and a few months later, she got married to another person but had no savings. It was later I heard from someone how she had been trying to please her ex-boyfriend by living a life she had never lived.
My choice to simplify my life hasn't caused any conflict or rift with friends or family. They have seen how I lived, how I have enjoyed doing my things in my own way and they have come to accept it. Some have even embraced aspects of it themselves, finding joy in small things and becoming more conscious about managing resources.
One of my neighbours, who once struggled with balancing her spending habits shared how she was drawn to simplicity after observing how I live. She told me how she used to follow a colleague's (her coursemate) lifestyle - prioritising clothes over healthy meals, and frequently dining out when she was supposed to prepare nutritious meals and the shocking part was how she had no savings in case when emergency happens.
She shared how she came from a poor background but only to be trapped by someone who negatively influenced her. But seeing how peaceful I am always inspired her to leave that circle of friendship and prioritise what truly matters so she could enjoy a life of peace too.
That day was an opportunity for me to talk to her. We spoke at length and I was able to share how my life has been right from when I was young. How I made it a choice to live a simple life and never to please anyone. Together, we talked about the value of preparing for the future, of making the most out of what we have.
Though it was hard on her at first, she came to appreciate the value of owning her peace in a more intentional and mindful approach to life. She stopped her friendship with the colleague and everything was going fine with her. I'm glad we still talk via WhatsApp today and seeing the life she lives now brings fulfilment to me.
In my experience, simplicity has never been just about cutting back; it is about curating a life that I know I will look back on without regrets. And for those who choose to share in my journey, it's been an opportunity to find peace in the things that truly matter.
All images are mine
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