“Go with the flow” they say, but this is more than a saying to me. It’s an art and a way of life, an idea that I can only point at, because words do not do it justice, the only way to truly understand it is to live it yourself.
I am constantly reading signs. You can look at them through a spiritual lens but if that isn’t comfortable for you, think of it as being analytical about patterns that I can recognize but not fully understand. I think this way of seeing the world can be understood well by anyone of faith, but also by the skeptical science who is willing to admit that they don’t know everything.
These days I am seeing many of the visions I’ve had for myself coming close to fruition. A harvest is almost ready picking and soon I/We shall feast. I can say “we” because I know that many others are in a similar situation right now. I can also say “we” because the fruits of my labor will be shared with many people around me, whether its an introduction to this crypto based social media community or an introduction to other communities with completely different focus points.
I am the bridge builder and I am making the finishing touches on multiple bridges.
The part that is hard to express is that I simultaneously have no idea what I am doing and at the same time know exactly what I am doing.
Things come together when I follow what feels right. There are detours but every detour teaches a lesson that makes me more able to complete the missions I have set for myself, and more capable of building the reality that I dream of.
I am finally learning to internalize the idea that “it’s the journey that counts”. And so no matter the consequence, I do not need to worry. All I need to do is assess and rid myself of any denial and fear and distractions that I find inside myself.
Here is how this looks in my life right now:
I have been invited to play 4 shows this month and that’s too many for me so I rejected one. I’ve also decided not to make a plan for how to approach any of these 3 remaining shows. I will come at each of them with whatever feels right in the moment. All I need to do is make sure I know my songs, but once it comes time to play them, I may decide not to play any of them as they were written.
This is the flow I am talking about. Following inspiration.
That bit of preperation is needed, but its a preperation of confidence and vibration, of being completely centered and also capable. The only plan needed is one that feels right. And i dont feel any plan is needed, just peace of mind and an intention to create a beautiful evening.
At the same time my health has reached a point where I can be as busy as the average work-from-home employee or freelancer. I work hard and play hard, not as much as the self destructive people I see on the train, but enough that I feel I am back in the game.
I no longer worry about how I am going to survive. To be fair my financial situation has improved a bit but it’s far from stable and I would like not to dig into crypto any more, doing so is painful. Be that as it may, I do not stress about this at all now. My attitude has become more patient and I have discovered that being social is better advertisement for my work than anything else, and I don’t even have to try to push it. Being calm and cool headed leads to more opportunities.
I have started to build more meaningful relationships with some of the people in my community. I have identified the people who I want to be closer with and I am making an effort.
Something really fascinating that’s changed is that I come at relationships with a complete abundance mentality. What I mean by that is I focus more on my own efforts than any expectations. It’s more about what I can give than what I can get.
I used to be very tit-for-tat in relationships. If i invited a friend out and they were busy, I would feel that it was their turn to make an effort eith me. If someone showed a lack of interest in me, I would assume the pose of not being interested in them. I didn’t want to lose to them. But lose what?
The effort I make with people is no longer lost if there are no direct results. Each encounter is a learning experience and practice for dealing with people and expressing myself.
Some people are stuck in their routine and it takes a while for them to make a new friend part of their life. Some people don’t realize compatibility as quickly. Sometimes we misrepresent ourselves and we need time to show who we really are or sometimes people are great but have a silly bias that we can slowly help them ocercome.
So now I sometimes invite someone out 3 or 4 times without them making a similar effort. Why? Because if I don’t take things personally, I realize I still want to get to know this person even if they currently don’t care as much about me. I trust that there is a good chance they will at some point. If they act annoyed or like they actively want to avoid me, THAT I take as a hint to back off, and I am very aware of when someone is actively trying to make distance, usually before it becomes an outward avoidance. I’m not offended. I just move on.
With two new friends it was not that they weren’t interested in me, they just hasn’t imagined us becomong close because We are more than 10 years apart and they don’t have any friends my age. They are also in a different stage in their life so they have more time to go out looking for new things, and can balance a lot more than I can. They are still looking for their passions while I am balancing many different passions I that I am knee deep in.
With another two new friends it’s that they have much more demanding romantic relationships than me and haven’t learned to create proper boundaries with their partners. Part of our relationship has been me showing them what healthy boundaries look like.
But I feel a potential for all kinds of collaborations, both artistic and work related with these new friends. It’s really exciting. At the very least they are interesting people to explore and have curiosity about similar things that we can explore together.
I’ve decided to finally start organizing a bi-monthly gathering to talk about some meaningful stuff. It will be open to both friends and strangers. The goal is to create a good atmosphere where the bridges I have built can be crossed and different kinds of people can explore each other.
I can’t even express how awesome this all feels, becomong who I always knew I was. It might sound cheesy but I think you can see past that. It’s incredible!
Wishing you an unforgetable week.
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If you are interested in blogging here and earning some change while sharing ideas and making friends, send me a message on Instagram or Twitter (@ ipluseverything)
ブログで自分の思っていることをシェアしながら小銭を溜まったり新しい友達をできたりすることは興味あれば、InstagramやTwitter（@ipluseverything）でメッセージを送ってください。 英語のオンラインレッスンの興味ある人もどうぞ、メッセージをください^_^
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Untangled Knots podcast:
Japanese Upbringing Explained (interview my Japanese student)
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Confessions of the Damaged 1.1-1.3 on Amazon
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