Misery on a Day Once Loved

squids in #hive-132410 • 3 years ago

Happy easter everyone! Hope you all spent time with your family and ate lots of good food, If you didn't get the opportunity then don't feel bad, I didn't have a chance to spend time with mine either.

Image by Bianca Van Dijk from Pixabay
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Well, ever since my last post it seems like I put a curse on myself. I am getting engulfed in depression, and a complete lack of motivation to do anything in life.

The doctor is on vacation till Tuesday, so he cannot view my blood test results, and I'm stuck like a sitting duck. I also messed up and ate at like 5 am, went back to bed, woke up and took my "fasting blood sugar" whoops, guess most of the results are inaccurate anyways.

I have been stuck watching the X-Files trying to nurture myself back to life, just like when I was a kid and got sick. The difference is I used to have my mom right by my side while I watched TV and drank tons of apple juice. The reason why I drank apple juice was because when you puke it just tastes like apple juice, It's Magical I'll tell ya.

Easter is now coming to an end, with no candy in sight, no family or food, no friends or fun, just misery, and a cheap laptop. I just can't get over the fact I will never be a kid again. Life seems meaningless at the moment, I don't know how much more pain I can take before I snap. I just want to spend time with my dog before he dies of old age and time with my mom as she just turned 62. Well, that's not happening and I honestly don't care anymore. I might just sit here, watch TV, and sleep. They cannot force you to treat your illness, I'll just sit here and wait till there's no coming back, and I finally have a chance to pass.

#life #writing #freewrite #scholarandscribe #story #thoughtfuldailypost #hivepizza #discovery-it #proofofbrain #vyb

3 years ago in #hive-132410 by squids

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stdd 3 years ago

Hang in there, bro! I didn't have Easter at all, since my Easter is only a week away. Nothing more to add yet.🤣

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squids 3 years ago

Easter is a week away? That is odd, I hope you enjoy it much more than I had lol 😉.

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stdd 3 years ago

Ahaha, yes, I hope so too))

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innerblocks 3 years ago

Thanks for sharing your experience with us!
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You have been curated by @thekittygirl on behalf of Inner Blocks: a community encouraging first hand content, and each individual living their best life. Come join the Inner Blocks Community , and check out @innerblocks! #lifehappening

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pizzabot 3 years ago

PIZZA!

PIZZA Holders sent $PIZZA tips in this post's comments:
@gaboamc2393_(1/5) tipped @squids (x1)

_{Please vote for pizza.witness!}

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old-man-chu58 3 years ago

Hey you git the community support here so you not rally alone. hopefully this comments will cheer you up

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squids 3 years ago

Thanks sir

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1 vote

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teknon 3 years ago

I didn't even feel anything like easter. I only remembered it was easter when I saw people celebrating and going around with palm leaves. I was stuck in my house didn't even have a good treat or any family gathering. I think we are all on the same page. Too sad😩.

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squids 3 years ago

It's okay, hopefully, the next holiday is better. I'm glad I am at the point of being able to comfort myself through the bad times and make it to the good times without too much irrational thinking. Thanks for the comment.

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teknon 3 years ago

We have ourselves to comfort and hope for better times. Have a great day

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squids 3 years ago

Thank you 🙂you have a great day aswell.

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teknon 3 years ago

👍👍

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brittandjosie 3 years ago

Friend when you are in need of a talk send me a message. I was with my family but I wil
Always make time for friends. You matter!
And these blogs do great so when this happens just write. On a paper for later or on laptop ( even when it’s a crappy one ) in drafts ! This is good for you, and we like having squids here

Happy second day of easter and when I feel sick I am gonna use the Apple juice tip for puking hahahah

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1 vote

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squids 3 years ago

Lmao the Apple juice trick is the ultimate sick tool, to get your blood sugar back up and rehydrate without risk of a yucky time just incase of the unfortunate. Thank you for reaching out, I tend to isolate myself when times get tough but I'm through the worst of it and starting my new job is exciting(tobacco store). Thanks again, I love you all ❤️.

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thoughtfulposts 3 years ago

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ecency 3 years ago

Yay! 🤗
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wittyzell 3 years ago

Hang in there @squids! There's also no easter in this part of the world, no family here but hey, we're here, on discord that is. I hope you will find joy in your heart soon.

Lastly, I left you with this Bible Verse

Cast your cares on the Lord
    and he will sustain you;
he will never let
    the righteous be shaken.

Psalm 55:22

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squids 3 years ago

My joy comes and goes. I have major depressive disorder, my lows seem bottomless sometimes. Thank you for your kind words.

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wittyzell 3 years ago

@squids I can't imagine how terrible that must be. Hang in there, buddy! I hope you'll always be filled with joy.

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thekittygirl 3 years ago

I spent the day alone, too, because I have no friends or family nearby. Well, I was on Discord, so not truly "alone" 😁 No special food here, either, just something I took out of the freezer and nuked. But, it's all good, as I don't really celebrate any holiday today, anyway. You're just in a dip, it will all be better again in a day or two. Hang in there!

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2 votes

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wesphilbin 3 years ago

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squids 3 years ago

Holidays have been rough after missing so many in jail and rehabs. Thank you for all the help.

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frittro 3 years ago

I can so associate with your feelings in this post! After my last stint in hospital, all that I could do immediately afterwards was just watch MTV. That is all I had the energy or the will for. Eventually, that phase waned, and I got up a little more energy, enough to be spending whole days playing Minecraft by myself on the Xbox. I went through a phase of months at that stage. At the next stage, I started getting more interactive with others online again, and I played a Minecraft-themed Discord bot called Discraft, for a while. This led to me developing a wiki for that bot game, which took me beyond Discord for the first time in ages. In the next phase, I started playing OwO and worked on the wiki for that one, too. Eventually though, I got to the stage where I again needed the intellectual stimulation of adult conversation, and I began blogging again, which brought me back to the social blockchain, where I had been active before I went to hospital. It took me a while, but I got here in the end.

From my experience, I hope that you can draw the conclusion for yourself that, wherever your head is at right now, it is just a phase that you are going through. Push through it, and you will eventually break forth into a new phase, one in which you can feel some form of progress happening. And like me, don't let the terms of that "progress" be determined by others. You need to see that progress for yourself, with your own hindsight. Others may not understand your struggles, nor see your achievements as anything much. But you do, and that is the most important thing!

Upvoted & Commented.

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squids 3 years ago

I have huge standards that I never end up meeting. Well at least I am beginning to identify the issues and fix them. Thanks for the reply.

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hive-photography 3 years ago

Reblog your posting

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wesphilbin 3 years ago

@squids

Well... other half had to work. I attempt to get caught up on my Curation Account... (didn't happen lol)... Had a late dinner. Stepdaughter let me borrow the newest Dune... she and the grandkids watched movies in their room... I had severe muscle spasms, and thought I would have to go to the ER... typical evening lol...

Back to you... I understand. No... not your personal situation... but I get it. The House of Help is always open man. You're free to chat away anytime... and remember... doesn't use RC to do so!

Positive energy and love your way brother. You've come a long way... we see it, and we are all proud of you. You should be too...

Have some of these cool call-outs!

Wes...

!LUV
!WINE
!LOL
@tipu curate
!giphy Tomorrow

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3 votes

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hivegifbot 3 years ago

Via Tenor

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squids 3 years ago

Thanks wes. I know alot of people have it much worse than me but that doesn't change how a person sees through their own perspective. Thank you for the support, just gotta make it through today as you always say.

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tipu 3 years ago

Upvoted 👌 (Mana: 36/46) Liquid rewards.

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squids last year

Sorry, I have been very inactive. I appreciate the kind words and motivation! <3

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2 votes

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wesphilbin last year

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4 votes

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lolzbot 3 years ago

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_{Credit: reddit}
@squids, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of @wesphilbin
Use the !LOL or !LOLZ command to share a joke and an $LOLZ. (1/4)

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luvshares 3 years ago

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gaboamc2393 3 years ago

Hi, I understand. I didn't spend this Easter in company either, the only ones who were with me were my cats and I ate some pizza. I am also coming out of a depressive condition that kept me in bed for quite a while. I don't know all your circumstances but maybe I can understand what you are feeling.

I know it's not easy, but don't worry, take your time, rest, sleep, cry, hug a tree or your pillow if there is no tree nearby. It's not wrong to feel this way, in fact it's normal given the circumstances. Just rest, reflect, take it all in stride and soon your energy will come back.

By discord, in Theterminal there is a big family and we are willing to help in any way we can. We haven't seen each other by chat but here I send you a lot of encouragement.

And to try to lift your spirits a little, I'm sending you a slice of pizza.

!PIZZA

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squids 3 years ago

Thanks for the kind words and tasty pizza ❤️

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