Home... That is what I call it for now because it is where I grew up, where I have the most memories but it feels weird that it doesn't feel like home again. I am not so eager to go back but instead eager to make my home, to build my own life and move on with it.
I had the good memories back at my parent's place (supposed home) they are the best in the world and they call me to come home almost every time, but I post them, I bring up every excuse not to go home. Not that I have anything in particular but it feels weird now, seeing myself there and not out there trying to make a home, a space of living for my self.
At this point, I don't know whether to call this place home any longer than to use the sentence, I am going to my parents' house and the sole purpose of doing that is to see my parents, and not to relax, not to clear my mind, not to do anything that feels like being at home.
I feel this is more like the story of any guy that have gotten to the age I am. I am not old, neither am I too young. I am just twenty four, but yet I see myself as a person with potential who should have his path being worked on, and even should have his own personal space where he would call home.
This is the reason why I chose not to go back to my parents' place even after I am done with my course of study. Yes I would visit them, I will check up on them because I love them so much, which is why I will be visiting.
Talking about visiting, I will be visiting my parents' place(home) tomorrow. I have not visited them since I left 2nd of January and they have been asking me, when will I come around. I have not had any tangible reason to come home or had anything in particular to do at home which is why I had always found an excuse of not visiting. Moreover, I have commitment or certain responsibilities in school which is why I had chosen to stay in school.
But this time, I have found a reason that needs me to visit them. My mum's birthday is this saturday and I don't want to miss wishing her a happy birthday, giving her a hug and the little gift I had bought for her about 3 to 4 months ago. So I don't want to miss my mother's 59th birthday for anything.
The funny thing is, I don't know what will be going through my dad's mind. His birthday was on February, I didn't think of going home, I didn't get him a gift, and the only thing I did was to give him a call wish him happy birthday and say him a short prayer.
Now I don't know what I should do, should I get him something little as well even though it is not his birthday in order to appreciate him so that he will not feel less loved or left out. I am thinking and considering this because I know one day in this life, I will be a father too. What do you think?
