For me, the default mode to rest when there isn't a clearly defined routine to take is a bit challenging to accept.
Some days, I find myself having some "free time" and I can be quite indecisive on what to do with that time.
Part of the reason is there's a couple of options to choose from. But the main reason in many cases is I don't want to do anything, I'll rather just be.
Being is totally different from doing, and my brain has been wired in a way that as far as I'm awake, I should be doing something.
This isn't that different from days when I wake up without fully being myself yet still have to do everything that needs to be done even though with less energy.
The only difference between both is the presence of external obligations forcing action in one case. When there are commitments, I push through despite the less energy.
But in free time, the absence of external pressure makes it harder to justify either action or inaction, which creates an internal struggle between the desire to rest and the ingrained need to remain productive, for me.
Arguably, one could say this struggle reveals a deeper fear, in my case.
In the absence of active doing, I may have to confront aspects of myself that I've been too busy to acknowledge.
When we really pause, we create space for questions about purpose, fulfillment, and identity that are easier to avoid in the rush of constant activity.
Ancient Undercurrents
So perhaps the perpetual drive to stay active serves as a shield against my uncomfortable self-reflection into aspects of myself that I'm reluctant to explore.
Or maybe it's really not that personal. In that, it's just the collective challenge of our modern generation.
Now, we're learning to exist in a world that increasingly blurs the lines between productivity and leisure.
More than the steam that comes up from boiling water, our devices ping with notifications at almost all hours.
And thanks to remote work, every place on Earth can potentially be a workplace, especially our homes, which previously was strictly a sanctuary for rest and personal life.
Dare I say that social media constantly reminds us of others' apparent productivity with aesthetically crafted work vlogs and productivity reels, making you wonder if rest feels more like a luxury you can't afford or justify lest you're left behind by a huge mile?
In this context, any perceived personal struggle between rest and work is merely a reflection of larger societal shifts in how we perceive and value time.
And wisdom is is understanding how to navigate these blurred boundaries consciously, knowing when to engage and when to simply be, without the weight of guilt or external validation.
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