It's Transformation Thursday!
Three years back, I got into a motorbike accident. It wasn't fatal or ghastly. Though, it gave me a few scars and a sprain in my right knee. I received treatment and recovered from the accident, though my knee never fully healed. When I stress my right leg for too long, I feel a dull ache in that knee.
Two days ago, I talked to my parents about it and the next sentence my dad made was, “You don't take good care of yourself.” Rightfully so, because months back, my mum made a herbal balm that I could massage into whatever area I felt pain. This balm was going to help relieve the pain but I had neglected using the balm on my knee. So, when I complained about the dull ache in my knee, they asked me if I had been using the balm to which I replied in the negative. And that was when my dad said, “You don't take good care of yourself”.
When he said that, it made me reflect back in time. Somehow, I knew he was right, even if I did not want to accept it. I used to be someone who starved herself of food sometimes. Not because there was no food, but majorly because I did not like eating food. When people ask me if I have eaten, i tell them no. And they ask why, to which I say, “Nothing, I just don't feel like eating.” But then, I started looking pale and malnourished. And my body started to show signs of being underfed. My aunties and uncle took it upon themselves to make me like food. They would serve me a large helping in a plate and force me to eat it down to the last bit, even if I threw up afterwards. Their words were, “If you won't take care of yourself, we will help you do it.” Their plans worked slightly. I like eating now, though not as much as they would have liked.
I am also a sort of perfectionist. And being a perfectionist means taking on more work than you can handle in your bid to carry out tasks to perfection. In university, most projects carried out for continuous assessment are done in groups. So, to avoid getting a poor score, I take on most of the jobs so that I can carry them out perfectly. And I do not delegate these tasks to different people which defeats the purpose of a group project. Doing these stripped me of the attention and care I was supposed to put on myself. I would go sleepless nights trying to type out or design projects. Sleepless nights led to a weak body and spirit, of course. A weak body led to illness and taking medications. Then, my close friend would say, “You can't do it on your own, Teji. Share the tasks.”
And when I fell really sick, I decided to take that bold step. It wasn't just me who cared about the CA. Other people did too and all I needed to do was reach out to them with the tasks i wanted them to carry out. This made everything easier for me and allowed me time to treat my soul and body.
Anyway, during my reflection, I realized that I really needed to start taking care of myself mentally, emotionally and physically. That meant eating well, taking ‘rest’ seriously, treating myself to things that gave me pleasure. And also applying my balm to my aching knee. And I'm glad that I have started taking steps towards my transformation into a cared-for girlie.
Thanks for reading.✨
